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Clarke's Law

In a similar vein to Godwin's Law, Clarke's Law dictates that somehow, someway, pedophiles will inevitably be brought up in an online argument. Often a form of simultaneously deflecting and projecting.
Thomas: Here is a picture of me holding my wife in bed.
Mavis: Ewww, she looks like a baby this is so odddddd...
Eric: Clarke's Law, you lose
by BangarangTwist June 1, 2025
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Flaze's Law

A law that states that if it exists, someone will put a VHS filter over it and call it Analog Horror.
"Did you see that new Family Guy analog horror? Its kind of bad." "Sounds like Flaze's Law in action."
by 2smug4you June 4, 2025
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Standard Sister-in-Law Unit (SSILU) [300lbs]

Standard Sister-in-Law Unit
noun
*| \ ˈsta-ndərd ˈsi-stər-in-ˌlȯ yü-nət *
Abbreviation: SSILU
Symbol: 𝓢 or SIL

Definition:
An unofficial unit of mass equal to 300 pounds (136.08 kilograms), used to simulate high-risk, real-world human load scenarios in mechanical, structural, and transportation systems. The SSILU is commonly applied to test the failure thresholds of furniture, vehicle seats, elevators, bicycles, airline cabins, and public patience.

Etymology:
Originated in post-war American slang, the term is derived from the stereotype of a loud, heavyset female relative—often portrayed as emotionally volatile and structurally compromising—whose presence tests both family dynamics and infrastructure load-bearing capacity. While non-literal, the “sister-in-law” archetype evokes maximum physical and psychological mass concentration in civilian environments.

Technical Classification:
Measurement Type: Anthropomorphic Load Unit

Mass: 300 lbs (≈ 136.08 kg)

Field Use: Structural stress testing, emergency engineering simulation

Design Benchmark: Most consumer goods are not rated past 0.8 SSILU
“She hit the fitting room like a breaching whale—1 Standard Sister-in-Law Unit (SSILU) 300lbs in full stride, swatting children aside and hollering ‘THESE SIZES RUN SMALL!!! while nearby store associates quietly begged for a swift death
by Ludwig Von Snooterman June 7, 2025
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The Lemon Law

In the event that either significant other in a relationship of less than 3 months becomes extremely ill, no longer operates as advertised or becomes extremely unreliable…the other significant other reserves the right to immediately terminate the relationship with a clean break and without fear of retaliation.
The girl I was with for less than 2 months became so sick and stopped doing fun things with me, so I enacted the Lemon Law and got a newer model.
by CuriousLynx June 12, 2025
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Apple law

If it has two colors, it can play bad apple.
Person 1: Hey, did you see they made Bad apple using actual apples?

Person 2: well you know the apple law: if it has two colors it can play Bad Apple.
Person 3: How long before someone does it using a squid or chameleon?
by Sirlordofderp April 6, 2023
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Nigga Law

When a person/nigga gives away their rights as a black person. This is usally done when the Nigga is tired of being black. This was popular around the 1800-1900.
Example:
person 1: I am so tired of this i can't take it i don't wanna be black anymore.

person 2: then use the Nigga Law. but be careful since you cannot use the nigga law anymore.
by AM happy as i am April 11, 2023
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Wife-in-Law

A blood-related sister in Alabama.
When my wife is “not In the mood” I go to my wife-in-law
by Pseudonummm num num April 22, 2023
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