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Subjective Assignment Theory

The theory that states that any subjective assignment (such as a book review) can be done without knowing what you are talking about (like writing a book review without reading the book).
Person 1: "Did you read the book and write the review?"

Person 2: "Nah. I'm not going to read the book; I'm just going to use Subjective Assignment Theory."
by bodfibodgjioqja November 18, 2011
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The Chocolate Theory

This theory states that the chances of survival of a long distance relationship are directly proportional to the couple's resistance to a midnight craving for chocolate and patience to wait for it till the next day.
I SO wanna have chocolate right NOW! I'd suck at long distance relationships courtesy the chocolate theory.
I think I should end this relationship. Last night's urge for chocolate, chocolate theoried my relationship. (verb)
by iamawesome41 December 23, 2011
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Gateway Artist Theory

The Gateway Artist Theory is the theory that the association or listening to of the less deleterious musical artist may lead to the listening of musical artists with a greater magnitude of lack of substance or quality. It is often attributed to the listening to of Kid Cudi,

Gateway Artist: An artist that encourages the common person to participate in drug usage and who leads to other artists that write lyrics about going harder and using harder drugs.
Example of the Gateway Artist Theory:
- Person 1: Ayeee! Let's get faded and zone to some cudi.
- Person 2: fuck Dat. Taylor gang errday. I only smoke papers now and i gotta save my good weed so wiz can get at that good fan weed.
by mertz man April 9, 2012
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Batman Shirt Theory

Description

Any person who is seen wearing a batman shirt in the public setting has a tendency to be automatically perceived as a threat by mentally ill persons, specifically those with a co-morbid diagnoses of schizophrenia, paranoid type, and psychopathy.

Joker-perpetrator

The joker has paranoid delusions rooted around the thought that the person wearing the batman shirt is some morally authoritative figure trying to restrict the joker's rights for the purpose of maintaining justice. The joker has a natural tendency towards attention seeking behaviors, impulsivity, and sadism.

The Hero-batman fan

Realistically, the hero is more often than not a passive idealist with fantasies of being this "morally authoritative figure" or hero. These beliefs tend to escalate to the extent of grandiose delusions, specifically during times of increased stress. Such persons experience a significant tendency towards being involved with conflict, especially with the joker and personalities alike.

Batman/Joker Conflict

The hero and the joker experience severe emotional and psychological restlessness, arising from their different attitudes. The hero favors fairness and stability whereas the joker prefers selfish gratification and chaos. The grandiose delusions of the hero and the paranoid delusions of the joker conflict with each other, resulting in escalating conflict all influenced by a simple shirt.
Batman Shirt Theory Example:

A. The hero with the batman shirt experiences grandiose delusions that he is obligated to solve every conflict in order to promote fairness and justice.

B. The joker sees the batman shirt and experiences paranoid delusions of oppression that restricts his individuality.

C. I may be delusional for making a case out of this. Point is, you can rationalize anything...
by lhukmai October 20, 2012
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Ricky's Theorem

Question: Sort the following array : 5,3,2,4,1.
Ricky: "Fuck, I can't figure it out. I will use Ricky's Theorem."
*c.out << 1,2,3,4,5
*submit
by JohnnyWong August 19, 2013
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The Branard Theory

The probability of beating someone in a fight is equal to 0.5, ±(The difference in height between you and your opponent)*0.1, regardless of physical ability.
In layman's terms, if you are taller than someone, you can beat them in a fight. A fact known by all tall men, and a fact discredited by all short men.
Well my 5'11" friend, since I am 6'3", I could definitely kick your ass... That's The Branard Theory for ya!
by omg_penguin September 3, 2013
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Sardinean String Theory

Noun

1. A mathematical theory which suggests that whenever 10 or more Mexicans are packed into a vehicle or dwelling like sardines, that at least 2 or more of them are having sex at any given time.
"According to Sardinean String Theory, we're about to experience a baby boom of illegal immigrants, the likes of which the world has never seen."
by billebllunt December 9, 2013
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