two shits to a candlestick

to not know anything about anything

to "not hold two shits to a candlestick" is to think you know something but really know nothing

Dan: did you hear caleb's thoughts on obama care?
Emma: yeah, but the tool can't hold two shits to a candlestick when it comes to the goverment

by secretpumpkinking March 25, 2014

one-two-switch-a-roo

The action of putting one's dick into a vagina whilst having one's testicles inside another vagina. Said vagina often has to be previously penetrated in order to be open enough to welcome the above-mentioned testicles.

"I had these two girls over and I pulled a one-two-switch-a-roo"

by noirline November 12, 2017

Round up to two weeks

Age old saying that most people know of

it's been 5 days so come on just round up to two weeks

by feminists:thelesserspecies October 16, 2021

two-man harmonica

For all the musicians out there who enjoy the harmonica and occasional percussion. A play on 69, one woman laying on her side and men on both sides facing her. Men blow on the harmonica while she plays the drums 🥁

“Hey man, I think we have a shot at a two-man harmonica tonight”
“No way bro. You think our sticks will get some action too?”

by mazislime May 19, 2025

Two-egger

A person who always follows the rules. They would never use three eggs in a two egg recipe. Even if three eggs would make a better batter.

Val would never pass that slow ass car on this curve. She's such a two-egger.

by Dangerdog Wolftoucher January 01, 2021

Onety-two

A spin off of the popular "oney-one" online skits featuting Cam'Ron and Brandy and social media influencer Talibah Bratton, it is the alternative pronunciation of twelve (12) in order to be consistent with other numbers between ten and twenty . The suffix "-ty" translates to "multiple of 10", so it is the short written form of one * ten plus two. Alternative spellings and pronunciations include "onee-two" and "oney-two" or could also be denoted as "twoteen."

The Ocean's12 movie featuring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Bernie Mac should actually be called "Ocean's Onety-two."

by Qmoshyn December 26, 2023

Two dollar turtle sundae

When two individuals otherwise unknown to each other hook up via a Facebook comment feed and later meet to get their nuts fudgey.

I never knew what I was missing until I has a two dollar turtle sundae.

by Please and thank you November 11, 2017