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Go to bed

Go to bed - meaning just be quiet and pretend you’re sleeping to resemble no noise and peacefulness.
You’re so pathetic , just go to bed.”
by uncircumsised lemon November 18, 2019
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Bed Napkin

The top sheet of the bed. Can be used to wipe bodily fluids off of face after dining.
Honey, where’s the bed napkin so I can wipe the saliva/semen/pussyjuice/santorum off my chin. I’m a big mess! The last time I saw it, it was twisted around my ankles.
by Sad giraffe May 25, 2019
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Bed Blast

A loud, deep fart in bed with your butt on the mattress, making a bassy noise that shakes the bed.
Person 1: *does a Bed Blast*
Person 2: Woah! That shook the bed!
by Anonymous1847282718181 May 5, 2020
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Bed salt

Small crumbs or random shit on the bed the size of salt, that annoys you while you try to sleep and end up brushing off
Fuck I can't sleep with all this bed salt on the bed, I have to brush it off
by Windowsweirdo October 14, 2020
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stabbing the bed

When a guy sleeps on his stomach and has a boner, causing said boner to stick into the mattress.
I woke up this morning with my penis hurting, I must have been stabbing the bed all night!
by Jim Throttle September 30, 2017
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Bed Zoned

the act of brining back a female counterpart to your bed but not being able to score/get any action ie a friendzone within a bed
Fergus was totally Bed Zoned last night with that girl!
by Own_thing May 24, 2017
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Bed Soring

The sex act whereby a man inserts his un-lubed penis in between an obese woman's fat rolls.
"Hey, how was your date last night?"

"Pretty good, I was bed soring her all night."
by F4ilwin July 11, 2016
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