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Church Grab

1) When someone makes a sexual advance on another person in a church or other place of worship. 2) A sexual rendezvous at a religious institution.
I gave Susan a church grab about half-way through service, when they asked everyone to greet their neighbors.
by Pteropus February 12, 2021
mugGet the Church Grabmug.

Church History

A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.
Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?

Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.

Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.

Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.

Me: So... this Church history exam....

Ellen: Fuck that shit.
by screaminghallelujah6 December 12, 2011
mugGet the Church Historymug.

Old Church

An old church is a beautiful masterpiece of religious architecture and will stand out in any town or setting. Old Churches that are either made from wood or from stone are different from more modern churches simply because they feature a beautiful relaxing space with lots of nice colours. Lots of elegant churches like this can be found a lot in England, America, Australia and New Zealand. They look the best when they are in a country setting with surrounding trees and lakes.
I prefer "Old Churches" rather than modern churches
by BlackTie12 February 21, 2020
mugGet the Old Churchmug.

church crazy

When a parent who is usually a normal person turns into a raging angry demon on Sundays. This usually occurs because they care deeply about their image and want their families to appear perfect to other churchgoers.
Damn, mom is screaming at John for forgetting to iron his shirt for church! Looks like she's gone church crazy.
by PlasticCup December 5, 2022
mugGet the church crazymug.

God Church

It's a word typically used to describe how well merch is selling
and I just dropped some new merch and it's selling like a god church
by PotatoLover666 June 28, 2017
mugGet the God Churchmug.

church fudge

two holy beings(one nun, one priest) have intercourse ,but after priest busts a huge nut ,he then proceeds to take a massive dump in nuns mouth.
yo, did you hear our local churches holy beings had a church fudge .
by galaxy_twat_ August 20, 2017
mugGet the church fudgemug.

church services

Euphemism for sex. Great to use for in-office emails and phone conversations when you think "Big Brother" may be listening.
Greg: "I've taken that bitch out 7 times now and still no church services."
Dan: "You're wasting your time dude. Here, I'll give my sister a call, thats a sure thing."
by The Greg July 19, 2004
mugGet the church servicesmug.

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