certified squid

A certified loser

Shut up you certified squid.

by anonymous December 7, 2023

certified yapper

The saying "certified yapper" means someone who believes they are certified for talking too much/saying dumb shit.

"I consider myself a certified yapper!"

"If I yap too much, then I must be a certified yapper!"

by Evrybdy_luvs.leeya March 13, 2024

Certified munch

Someone who is a slave to bitches

Duke is a certified munch gra gra

by Cabbagechild March 20, 2024

certified munch

A man who performs cunnilingus

I'm no selfish lover, I'm a certified munch.

by slytendenciess April 10, 2024

certified gooner

a certified gooner is someone that is open about their addiction to gooning and prolbably has a 30 hour streak of gooning to pornography on the weekend. this person is so down bad for the hub that they even watch it in school, at home, in the car, and more. this person will stay a virgin forever if they do not quit their gooning soon, before it is too late.

Gooner: dude I just stayed up all day over the weekend watching some Angela white and jonny sins going at it
random civil person: 'dials 911' there is a certified gooner on the streets terrorizing the public send help

by himolton April 22, 2024

certified gooner

a person who goons all the time. by all the time I mean all the time. I mean they have a 34 hour gooning streak over the weekend, and they wonder why they are tired all the time. they goon in school, in work (if they manage to get a job) they goon at home most often and they even goon at family gatherings.

dog, i managed to goon for 78 hours a couple days ago
so that's why you weren't at school you certified gooner, and stop looking at my tits loser
But why? I am the epiphony of rizz
i will let you think that
wanna be my sex toy?
*dials 911

by himolton April 25, 2024

Certified Maple Leaf Moment

When you've been going hard all year, only to fuck it up miles away from the finish line

Watching my daughter give up the winning goal in the 1st round playoff - game 7 to be exact, was a certified maple leaf moment for our family, filled with disappointment and frustration.

by BigGucciFucci April 28, 2024