Walking Wanker

Typically an individual, who walks on the street, who looks like an outright wanker.
A wanker being, a person who "wanks" (masturbates). Which in essence, includes everyone.

Some deviants may include: Wanka, Vanka, Wanko, Wenka, Wonka, Wnkah, 'anka, 'nkerrr, and etc.

A white pretentious tourist wanker walks down the sidewalk of a rural ghetto village in the Exotic slums of my anus, on the pothole ridden road rides a group of hooligans in a rundown black Toyota Rush, shouting out the malfunctioning windows the following phrase in an act of general defiance against imperialism, political correctness, and general wankery:
"Walking Wanker"

by dragon_ligon_deez December 24, 2016

rating wanker

Someone who watches TV shows / films solely based on their ratings or someone who has to check the ratings of everything before committing

Joe you have to check the rating of everything, you're such a rating wanker

by Jadeydiddle April 6, 2017

Chino wanker

chino wankers are a individual or a group of LADS aged mid teens to 20 and are obsessed with football , fancy a cheeky nandos , refer to everything that isn't that funny as "banter" or refers to anyone that stimulates their poor humour as a "top LAD" They tend to only drink cider and pretend they're drunk off one can. They make jokes about eachothers mums or make sexist jokes about girls only being good for certain things like the kitchen.

They will wear gazelles , jack wills and holister

"Ooooh that's great banter "

"Ooooh fancy a cheeky nandos "

"Ooooh I fucking love football "
" LADotelli "
" chino wanker "

by Yindyyy November 7, 2015

Sweaty Wanker

The act of wanking to the beat of rap god and snorting cocaine off your step-Gammy’s sweaty ass crack

Damn bro I heard you were at your Gam Gam’s house doing a sweaty wanker.

by DirtyGoblinReceiver69 December 14, 2019

Phone Wanker

Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.

I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!

by JayWon April 21, 2017

chair wanker

Typically found in groups, people who go to music festivals and set up near the stage with deckchairs, inflatable sofas or picnic blankets and expect everyone to leave a big gap around them. Often can be found not even using aforementioned items.

"Hey did you enjoy the Isle of Wight Festival?"
"Sure, but there was chair wankers everywhere!"

by Wighteggy June 12, 2019

Mooch Wanker

For those Indian and Pakistani individuals with the exact same haircut (short back & sides with a quiff) who drive around in their fathers BMW and say either "bro" or "innit" after every sentence.

They also go to Mooch on Broad St every Friday night with money they borrowed from their grandparents.

"Look at that mooch wanker haircut."

by KingOfEverythingAskWiz April 14, 2016