Curb Hermits (noun) —
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
In the wild:
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
by Heyitspatt May 29, 2025
Get the Curb Hermits mug.The act of installing quick build physical barriers between traffic and cyclists. Something made out of those concrete barriers found in parking spots and pylons.
by fmoon1998 March 29, 2023
Get the Curb-plunk mug.When you do something so monumentally stupid that it's not enough for your partner to make you sleep on the couch: you have to sleep outside on the curb instead.
by MalumLibrum958 September 18, 2023
Get the Sleeping on the Curb mug.The freshly constructed road has a well-defined curb along its sides, which helps to keep cars from wandering onto the sidewalk and potentially hitting pedestrians.
by Arminkshipper June 15, 2025
Get the Curb mug.by StingerSplash April 3, 2020
Get the Curb stomp mug.by emoafrican May 7, 2024
Get the Closer Look Curb mug.When a man ejects a woman off of a curb using a well placed kick and then proceeds to have sexual intercourse with her.
Hey Bruce, did you take back that girl you met last night?
Nah, I couldn't be bothered so I gave her the Vietnamese Curb
Nah, I couldn't be bothered so I gave her the Vietnamese Curb
by duncanthedestroyer November 15, 2012
Get the Vietnamese Curb mug.