crunchy cucumber

When a girl gives you head then bites down and you shoot you're load in her mouth.

Calvin was getting the best head, then his bitch bit down and made him a crunchy cucumber!

by couch69 May 2, 2014

hairy cucumber

A dick with hair covering a majority of the shaft and foreskin.

"Fuck him? I didn't even blow him. He had a full on hairy cucumber and I GTFO.

by bear shaver December 2, 2015

Virtual Cucking

The act of watching/masturbating to porn videos/images depicting a man having intercourse with a woman, even though you're masturbating to porn for the women but fine with seeing her being penetrated by another man while you wish that were you.

Guy 1: Dude did you see this new porno?

Guy 2: Who's in it?

Guy 1: Male actor and Female actress.

Guy 2: Dude that's virtual cucking.

by AbusiveUncle October 12, 2017

Stained Cucumber

When a girl is on her period, so she fucks your ass with a cucumber whilst biting the cucumber off bit by bit and spitting it into a salad bowl. She would then finger herself and scrape the blood into the salad bowl as a form of dressing

Yeah I saw the Stained Cucumber on Pornhub and nearly threw up

by The Stained Cucumber December 27, 2018

shriveled cucumber

When an uncircumcised man ejaculated inside the vagina of his lover, then just left his penis inside of her for so long that the man’s willy is now completely flaccid and both partners are now struggling to keep the cooked spaghetti noodle inside of her pocketbook, a task in which both involved will inevitably fail.

Me and Julie we’re having sex last night and we completely shriveled cucumbered, it was insane!

by ¡Itsyaboidepression! September 29, 2019

butt-cucking

When one’s significant other refuses to peg you, but allows you to watch when she pegs others

“Yeah man i’m kinda bummed, my wife’s butt-cucking me right now… really nice that i get to see Brad more often.

by Bloah Blumpkin March 6, 2023

to throw the cucumber

To be unhappy, disgruntled or gypped at one's situation, particulary where someone else is getting a better deal than you, ie they get a grape and you only get a cucumber.

'What a rip off! I'm totally going to throw the cucumber on this one…'

by avalanche3 November 29, 2012