by tufty1 April 14, 2009
The day of hell after a particularly heavy night of drinking. The resulting hangover is so bad that you are forced to stay on your couch all day to recouperate.
Ingredients for setting up your very own COUCH DAY:
1. A long shower.
2. A gallon of cold water.
3. Half a loaf of white bread from your nearest dining hall or supermarket.
4. A confortable couch in a cool, dark room.
5. Suitably mellow music by the singer/songwriter du jour.
6. Tylenol or Advil.
7. Your phone.
Instructions:
1. Crawl to the shower and stay there as long as possible. 2. Do not allow yourself to sit in the shower, as people piss in there all the time.
3. Put a shitload of water in your fridge.
4. Have a sympathizer get you half a loaf of white bread.
5. Turn on the John Mayer / Jason Mraz / Howie Day.
6. Take the Tylenol or Advil and retire to your couch.
7. Eat the bread and sip on your cold water.
8. Stay put. Sudden movement will make you toss up the bread you've been munching on.
9. Using your phone, call everyone you know and describe how horrible you are feeling and swear to them that you are never drinking again.
10. Reconstruct the events of the evening that led to your COUCH DAY.
11. Avoid bright light at all times.
Ingredients for setting up your very own COUCH DAY:
1. A long shower.
2. A gallon of cold water.
3. Half a loaf of white bread from your nearest dining hall or supermarket.
4. A confortable couch in a cool, dark room.
5. Suitably mellow music by the singer/songwriter du jour.
6. Tylenol or Advil.
7. Your phone.
Instructions:
1. Crawl to the shower and stay there as long as possible. 2. Do not allow yourself to sit in the shower, as people piss in there all the time.
3. Put a shitload of water in your fridge.
4. Have a sympathizer get you half a loaf of white bread.
5. Turn on the John Mayer / Jason Mraz / Howie Day.
6. Take the Tylenol or Advil and retire to your couch.
7. Eat the bread and sip on your cold water.
8. Stay put. Sudden movement will make you toss up the bread you've been munching on.
9. Using your phone, call everyone you know and describe how horrible you are feeling and swear to them that you are never drinking again.
10. Reconstruct the events of the evening that led to your COUCH DAY.
11. Avoid bright light at all times.
Oh man, I feel like ass, I shouldn't have drank that boxed wine last night. Today is gonna be a COUCH DAY.
by Brad d May 13, 2006
Man, I've got a couch slouch because my girlfriend made me sleep on the couch after she caught me hooking up with her sister.
by adkjfhskjhdfjsincjdsghfi June 08, 2007
A euphemism for smoking any drug in mass quantity. Derived from a friend who was going to burn a couch that had a lot of drugs stashed in it.
by 414MKE July 30, 2011
Almost like beer thirty, except it's the bitter sweet time of day where you and your couch hang out just before you hit the sack.
by Jergense October 30, 2013
Couch whale is the defender of the basement they never sleep, they only wait. They start out as a basement troll but grow into a couch whale by being introduce to a couch that they like. They never leave the couch once they have turn, couch whales never part with there couch
by swmf2 December 29, 2009
a couch that is so comfortable that when you sit on it, it feels like you just ate turkey, and you get sleepy and relaxed. may also be used to describe a comfy chair.
"What happened? You were supposed to meet me 3 hours ago!"
"Sorry, I sat down on the turkey couch and fell asleep."
"Sorry, I sat down on the turkey couch and fell asleep."
by Hillary Claire October 23, 2007