Meet Ronald — a self-proclaimed “investment guru” in his late 20s to early 30s, who somehow manages to project the confidence of Warren Buffett while possessing the financial acumen of a Magic 8-Ball. Ronald’s entire portfolio is held together with vibes, memes, and whatever happens to be trending on r/WallStreetBets that week. If it’s got a rocket emoji next to it, Ronald’s all in.
He has no formal education in finance — unless you count the YouTube rabbit hole he fell into after watching The Big Short once and deciding he “gets it now.” His primary investing strategy? Simply disagreeing with whatever Jim Cramer says. If Cramer says buy, Ronald screams sell, and vice versa. He calls this “inverse Kramer logic,” and believes it’s Nobel-worthy.
Ronald often refers to himself as “diversified,” which in his case means he owns shares in a bankrupt movie theater chain, a crypto coin named after a dog, and a startup that claims to be the Uber for pigeons. He dishes out unsolicited financial advice like candy at Halloween, especially during parties, weddings, and funerals.
Despite his track record of turning every $100 investment into a $14 lesson in humility, he insists he’s “just one short squeeze away from early retirement.” You can often find him on his phone yelling things like “I told you AMC would moon again!” while desperately trying to remember his Robinhood password.
Ronald isn’t just playing the market — he’s playing himself, and somehow, still thinks he’s winning.
He has no formal education in finance — unless you count the YouTube rabbit hole he fell into after watching The Big Short once and deciding he “gets it now.” His primary investing strategy? Simply disagreeing with whatever Jim Cramer says. If Cramer says buy, Ronald screams sell, and vice versa. He calls this “inverse Kramer logic,” and believes it’s Nobel-worthy.
Ronald often refers to himself as “diversified,” which in his case means he owns shares in a bankrupt movie theater chain, a crypto coin named after a dog, and a startup that claims to be the Uber for pigeons. He dishes out unsolicited financial advice like candy at Halloween, especially during parties, weddings, and funerals.
Despite his track record of turning every $100 investment into a $14 lesson in humility, he insists he’s “just one short squeeze away from early retirement.” You can often find him on his phone yelling things like “I told you AMC would moon again!” while desperately trying to remember his Robinhood password.
Ronald isn’t just playing the market — he’s playing himself, and somehow, still thinks he’s winning.
by Factsonly619 May 4, 2025
Get the Ronald mug.by FirewildX November 23, 2024
Get the Ronald Reagan mug.Sophia: Did you fly on a plane to New York from Florida
Olivia: No I rode in Ronald McDonald’s back. Of course I took a plane
Olivia: No I rode in Ronald McDonald’s back. Of course I took a plane
by Sexy girl 321 May 28, 2020
Get the Ronald McDonald mug.by Turtlenugget913 April 13, 2020
Get the Ronald McDonald mug.by xxxracksxx April 19, 2025
Get the ronald mug.by The Ronald Hole Enjoyer October 8, 2022
Get the Ronald Hole mug.Ronald Mc Donald is a popular fast food mascot from the well known fast food chain McDonalds, obviously
by DontWorryAbtIt69 April 9, 2023
Get the Ronald Mc Donald mug.