A push gift is demanded by a JAP to compensate for her labor pains and to reward her platinum womb for bringing another child into the world. The give is delivered immediately and I do mean immediately upon giving birth.
The second that the brand new baby exits the vagina to be wiped down, the pussy-whipped husband gives his shrew of a wife a significant item of jewelry. Typically, the price is at least $20,000 and preferably $30,000.
Whether that is to compensate for the incredible sacrifice or merely to deal with the impending post-partum depression has not yet been determined. The utter repulsiveness of the extremely crass act defies description by mere mortals with any sense of humility or shame.
The vast majority of the human race, approaching 99%, would believe that the sheer joy of a new baby would be the most incredible gift of life that a couple could possibly want to celebrate. In fact, that is usually what happens.
Ask yourself what type of person would demand a push gift.
The second that the brand new baby exits the vagina to be wiped down, the pussy-whipped husband gives his shrew of a wife a significant item of jewelry. Typically, the price is at least $20,000 and preferably $30,000.
Whether that is to compensate for the incredible sacrifice or merely to deal with the impending post-partum depression has not yet been determined. The utter repulsiveness of the extremely crass act defies description by mere mortals with any sense of humility or shame.
The vast majority of the human race, approaching 99%, would believe that the sheer joy of a new baby would be the most incredible gift of life that a couple could possibly want to celebrate. In fact, that is usually what happens.
Ask yourself what type of person would demand a push gift.
She dropped a lot of hints for her push gift. She left Tiffany catalogs and similar overt messages lying around the house and instructed the maid to not disturb them.
The younger generation seems to be more inclined to push gifts. They have that crying need for instant gratification and ersatz experience to compensate for a fundamental, deep-seated terror in the face of real life. Older mothers would never dream of something so grotesque as a jewelry display in a delivery room. They at least had enough dignity to wait until they got into their private rooms in the recovery ward.
My mom's generation got their push gifts in the form of new cars to drive home from the hospital, or a new nursery for baby and a new wardrobe for mom to try on after that first spa week in the Hamptons or the Berkshires. The low rent version is in Atlantic City.
My friend Tom says that push gifts are just installments of vaginamony.
The younger generation seems to be more inclined to push gifts. They have that crying need for instant gratification and ersatz experience to compensate for a fundamental, deep-seated terror in the face of real life. Older mothers would never dream of something so grotesque as a jewelry display in a delivery room. They at least had enough dignity to wait until they got into their private rooms in the recovery ward.
My mom's generation got their push gifts in the form of new cars to drive home from the hospital, or a new nursery for baby and a new wardrobe for mom to try on after that first spa week in the Hamptons or the Berkshires. The low rent version is in Atlantic City.
My friend Tom says that push gifts are just installments of vaginamony.
by Call Me Ishmael or leave a message December 13, 2007
Get the push gift mug.Person 1: I hate Philosophy students, Corvettes, German Shepherd dogs and anything by George Lucas.
Person 2: And I suppose you are God's gift to humanity?
Person 2: And I suppose you are God's gift to humanity?
by Speed Racer July 14, 2004
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The main character of the show Family Guy, the man of the Griffin family. Works in the Happy-Go-Lucky toy factory, and hangs out with his friends Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland.
"Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me."
by --Meatwad-- November 26, 2004
Get the peter griffin mug.The name of that basic and straight white boy in your class who comes from a well off family but acts like they came from the hood. Worships Eminem and wears knockoff Beats By Dr. Dre headphones. He boasts about how well his life is going when he is probably going to grow up to be some hoe's baby daddy or a bartender. If a Griffin Johnson insults you, just remember that he's whiter than milk. Probably has a 1-inch dick
Kelly: Griffin Johnson called me a slut for wearing leggings
Mark: Don't worry that nigga goin' round asking for head from the teachers
Mark: Don't worry that nigga goin' round asking for head from the teachers
by bitch-where June 12, 2016
Get the griffin johnson mug.by Wilbo777 December 23, 2008
Get the Holland's Gift mug.This is someone who gives you a gift, usually a gift certificate at a bar or restaurant, with the intention of you using it with them, so in effect, it is only a half-gift
Danny: Happy birthday, Mike, here's your gift!
Mike: Hey, a $50 gift certificate to Rob's Good Time Bar, thanks!
Danny: What are you doing today? I was thinking of going to Robs, wanna go?
Mike: Ummmm, yeah, I guess...(wow, what a cheap fuck Dan is, he is the half-gift giver, looks like I'm paying for the tab, ... again...)
Mike: Hey, a $50 gift certificate to Rob's Good Time Bar, thanks!
Danny: What are you doing today? I was thinking of going to Robs, wanna go?
Mike: Ummmm, yeah, I guess...(wow, what a cheap fuck Dan is, he is the half-gift giver, looks like I'm paying for the tab, ... again...)
by bob_c_o January 31, 2010
Get the The Half-gift Giver mug.proper n. A professional comic and media gadfly. An all-around kickass dame of ingenious, rapid-fire wit. Reknowned for having the nerve to mock celebrities and slaughter all the sacred cows of mainstream pop culture. Brassy, sassy, classy and sarcassy.
by Dovetchka December 25, 2005
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