A CHAV is a person who wears cheap sports wear ALL the time, a mangey cap on their head, hood up and dirty trainers with ear piercings and studs an often spitting, drinking and swearing. Very unstylish in the fashion world but much of the popluation is turning into the stereotypical 'CHAV'.
"Hey Ben look over there its a gang of CHAV s. We should cross over so we don't have to walk past them!"
"No don't worry Bernard, they try and look hard but really they are just loser 10 - 21 year olds. They have no strength but they may have weapons, just don't look them in the eye and run if they talk to you!"
"No don't worry Bernard, they try and look hard but really they are just loser 10 - 21 year olds. They have no strength but they may have weapons, just don't look them in the eye and run if they talk to you!"
by odjensoa October 24, 2008
Get the CHAV mug. A humanoid drone with no intentions in life other than to go to prison, steal things from old women, and beat 4 year olds. In this episode of "Exploring Vermin", we dissect the Chav's existance.
1: Morals
A Chav is motivated not by its own brain(whether or not it has one is unknown) but rather the actions of its pack(see 2), with some of its more aggresive actions fuelled by the beatings it was given whenever it made a single noise for the first 5 years of its life. It generally aims to:
-piss off every living thing around it
-make itself look like a complete arse
-chug enough monster and red bull to make an ant be able to cross the world twice in around half an hour
2: Interactions of its kind
Chavs hunt in a small pack of 5-6 males with one or two chavettes, usually for extra dickhead motivation. The group of arseholes will then try to look hard in front of the female(s). The Chav will attack anything nearby, including small children, brick walls and postboxes, usually ending in an ASBO.
3: Sustenance
Chavs will consume anything as long as it is not healthy in any way. Chavettes notably treat vegetables as poison.
4: Friends
-none found-
5: Enemies
-cannot display, number exceeds 99999999.
6: Reproduction
Chavs and chavettes will reproduce once every few weeks, ers, a scientifically proven fact.
7: Intelligence
Ha, that's a good joke.
8: Conclusion
Both the chav and chavette need to become extinct for humanity to remain profitable.
1: Morals
A Chav is motivated not by its own brain(whether or not it has one is unknown) but rather the actions of its pack(see 2), with some of its more aggresive actions fuelled by the beatings it was given whenever it made a single noise for the first 5 years of its life. It generally aims to:
-piss off every living thing around it
-make itself look like a complete arse
-chug enough monster and red bull to make an ant be able to cross the world twice in around half an hour
2: Interactions of its kind
Chavs hunt in a small pack of 5-6 males with one or two chavettes, usually for extra dickhead motivation. The group of arseholes will then try to look hard in front of the female(s). The Chav will attack anything nearby, including small children, brick walls and postboxes, usually ending in an ASBO.
3: Sustenance
Chavs will consume anything as long as it is not healthy in any way. Chavettes notably treat vegetables as poison.
4: Friends
-none found-
5: Enemies
-cannot display, number exceeds 99999999.
6: Reproduction
Chavs and chavettes will reproduce once every few weeks, ers, a scientifically proven fact.
7: Intelligence
Ha, that's a good joke.
8: Conclusion
Both the chav and chavette need to become extinct for humanity to remain profitable.
Louis: yo blad what u bin sayin??
Kev: nothin mate juss bin wiv chantelle
Gazza: aaay fams wot ya doin
Louis: blud, wot u doin yeh?
Gazza: startin fam? STARTIN?
Louis: an whaat blud? i bang you mum
*Gazza walks off, muttering "u succh a chav blud"*
Kev: nothin mate juss bin wiv chantelle
Gazza: aaay fams wot ya doin
Louis: blud, wot u doin yeh?
Gazza: startin fam? STARTIN?
Louis: an whaat blud? i bang you mum
*Gazza walks off, muttering "u succh a chav blud"*
by David Attenbourough September 1, 2012
Get the chavmug. chavs are mindless bitches that dont have the knoledge to speak properly
for example "wat up bruv ows it anging init" "cool blad but some grungies dont even know illav em"
for example "wat up bruv ows it anging init" "cool blad but some grungies dont even know illav em"
weird chav
by ugy August 1, 2009
Get the chavmug. chav = Council housed and violent
appeared on commercial road, Bulwell circa 1988 and spread like a virus.
appeared on commercial road, Bulwell circa 1988 and spread like a virus.
by brizogg July 4, 2011
Get the chavmug. usually some fucking stinky 13 - 17 year olds that sit in alley ways and smoke dat weed innit. they also are known for drinking 35p energy drinks and they are set with a specific uniform that includes: an addidas tracksuit and jacket, nike cap and a pouch. in this pouch they store their essentials which are, quidz, weed and most importantly a rusty piece of shit they found in their stanky da's shed called a shank
by anonymous December 15, 2019
Get the chavmug. There are a group of boys about 12 - 16 years of age clustered outside the door of a newsagent's. They are all dressed almost identically- some sort of white/blue tracksuit, most likely with some kind of stripe pattern. The trousers are baggy and tucked into their white sports socks, which are pulled up stupidly high. Many of their heads are topped with some kind of baseball cap, and most of their necks are adorned with thick imitation gold/silver chains. Their hair is shaved almost bald at the back and sides, and is gelled neatly forward onto their spotty foreheads in a series of precise spikes. Their eyes are sunken and in their hands they clutch cigarettes and bottles of Stella Artois. Anybody who walks past who does not resemble them exactly will be spat at, challenged, insulted, shoved and generally attacked, and anyone who passes by who looks similar to them will be sworn at and possibly stabbed to death.
They are sometimes seen with girlfriends, who wear their hair in pigtails and plaster their ugly faces with enough make-up to cover the surface of the moon in a layer about two inches thick. They (unflatteringly) wear almost exacltly the same clothes as their boyfriends, except tighter and pulled lower down for the world to see the tops of black lace thongs poking from their flabby white arses. They wear earrings big enough to sit a budgie in.
They are sometimes seen with girlfriends, who wear their hair in pigtails and plaster their ugly faces with enough make-up to cover the surface of the moon in a layer about two inches thick. They (unflatteringly) wear almost exacltly the same clothes as their boyfriends, except tighter and pulled lower down for the world to see the tops of black lace thongs poking from their flabby white arses. They wear earrings big enough to sit a budgie in.
"'ere you, dick'ead, 'ave you got twenny p fo't' bus? You what? you WHAT? Let me check them pockets! Yeah you 'ave, you dick'ead! Well what's that then!? Gi' me that you little cunt, or I'll fuckin' do you in proper bad! Yeah I will, dick'ead. I proper will! Don't start me, you little twat, 'cos I'll proper make somefin of it! 'Ere, Daz, come over ;ere an' 'elp us out!
by Kolplov September 19, 2005
Get the chavmug. *Woman walks by with small child.*
Chav: Yo gash, you best make dat fing your holdin stop staring at me, I might have to box up its face gurl.
Woman: Excuse me do you want to say that again?
Chav: I said... *trails off because a huge man walks up to him, presumably the childs father.*
Man: What are you talking about you dirty chav?
Chav: Nothing- I was, er... *chav pussy runs away.*
Chav: Yo gash, you best make dat fing your holdin stop staring at me, I might have to box up its face gurl.
Woman: Excuse me do you want to say that again?
Chav: I said... *trails off because a huge man walks up to him, presumably the childs father.*
Man: What are you talking about you dirty chav?
Chav: Nothing- I was, er... *chav pussy runs away.*
by [.x.your lil mistake.x.] June 24, 2007
Get the chavmug.