Russia says Chechnya can’t leave. Chechnya says, “Watch us”
Russia invades. This is the ‘official’ kick-off.
Russia expects it to be like crushing a beer can. It is not.
Chechen fighters, who know every alley and mountain path, make the Russian army look like blind, drunk bears.
Grozny, a city, gets turned into a moonscape by Russian bombs. (Everybody remembers the city but forgets it was full of people who couldn’t leave.)
Russia loses thousands of conscripts—poor, scared kids from the provinces. (Everybody in Moscow tries to forget this.)
Tanks roll into city streets and are turned into scrap metal by guerrillas with rockets from upstairs windows.
There are atrocities on both sides. (Everybody only remembers the ones committed by the other side.)
Boris Yeltsin, facing an election, needs to look tough. The war is his tough-guy photo op. It is not going well.
Russian mothers start showing up at the front to drag their sons home. The army hates this.
After two years of humiliation, Russia signs a peace deal in 1996. It’s basically a surrender.
Chechnya gets de facto independence. Russia acts like this was the plan all along.
The Russian army goes home, broke and broken. They try to forget the whole thing.
Chechnya is ruined. No one wins.
Five years later, Russia decides round one was just a practice run...
Russia invades. This is the ‘official’ kick-off.
Russia expects it to be like crushing a beer can. It is not.
Chechen fighters, who know every alley and mountain path, make the Russian army look like blind, drunk bears.
Grozny, a city, gets turned into a moonscape by Russian bombs. (Everybody remembers the city but forgets it was full of people who couldn’t leave.)
Russia loses thousands of conscripts—poor, scared kids from the provinces. (Everybody in Moscow tries to forget this.)
Tanks roll into city streets and are turned into scrap metal by guerrillas with rockets from upstairs windows.
There are atrocities on both sides. (Everybody only remembers the ones committed by the other side.)
Boris Yeltsin, facing an election, needs to look tough. The war is his tough-guy photo op. It is not going well.
Russian mothers start showing up at the front to drag their sons home. The army hates this.
After two years of humiliation, Russia signs a peace deal in 1996. It’s basically a surrender.
Chechnya gets de facto independence. Russia acts like this was the plan all along.
The Russian army goes home, broke and broken. They try to forget the whole thing.
Chechnya is ruined. No one wins.
Five years later, Russia decides round one was just a practice run...
"Some of the Russian conscripts in the First Chechen War in those documentaries have, like, Siberian or Uzbek accents... how does that work?"
by Czeszka January 18, 2026
Get the The First Chechen War mug.the guy that rubbed his ass on my white bed sheets and left a brown streak is such a doodle bun cheek
by YAA BITCH December 28, 2024
Get the Doodle bun cheek mug.Related Words
check
• checkmate
• checkers
• checkin
• check it
• Check out
• Checkered
• checking
• Checking Out
• Check it out
I love scrolling through Urban Dictionary; some definitions are so hilariously random and tongue-in-cheek that I can't help but laugh out loud!
by Emotional Cruiser November 4, 2025
Get the tongue-in-cheek mug..
by BicicletaRusa February 14, 2025
Get the 《¤》Cheeks《¤》cheeks《¤》Cheek《¤》 mug.karl walks in, Joy jumps on him and gives him a kiss, and does he, then they scream HAPPY INTERNATIONAL GIVE YOUR BEST FRIEND A KISS ON THE CHEEK DAY!
by thebanguditsa September 24, 2019
Get the International give your best friend a kiss on the cheek day mug.The Only Sincere Muscle Is On The Middle Of The Inde Of The Left Cheeck Near The Left Vermillion Border
The Only Sincere Muscle Is On The Middle Of The Inde Of The Left Cheeck Near The Left Vermillion Border
by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e April 21, 2025
Get the The Only Sincere Muscle Is On The Middle Of The Inde Of The Left Cheeck Near The Left Vermillion Border mug.