by Charlotte Baxter May 21, 2024
Get the Alphabet Peoplemug. bumpire: Someone who monitors da activities of moochers and vagrants, uneven surfaces, or people's posteriors
cumpire: Someone who monitors a virile stud's sperm-production
dumpire: Someone who monitors da bulk-offloading of material
dumbpire: Someone who monitors stupid people and/or actions
fumpire: Someone who monitors what da castle-atop-da-beanstalk-dwelling giant said regarding British hemoglobin
gumpire: Someone who monitors Violet Beauregarde's favorite dental-exercising substance
humpire: Someone who monitors others' tune-carrying abilities, or da droning din of power-transformers and/or minuscule rapidly-flapping birds
jumpire: Someone who monitors others' pogo-stick-type leg-actions
lumpire: Someone who monitors Abner Peabody's best buddy, or abnormal bulges
mumpire: Someone who monitors child-bearing females, others' abilities to invoke da Fifth Amendment, or painful jaw-swelling
cumpire: Someone who monitors a virile stud's sperm-production
dumpire: Someone who monitors da bulk-offloading of material
dumbpire: Someone who monitors stupid people and/or actions
fumpire: Someone who monitors what da castle-atop-da-beanstalk-dwelling giant said regarding British hemoglobin
gumpire: Someone who monitors Violet Beauregarde's favorite dental-exercising substance
humpire: Someone who monitors others' tune-carrying abilities, or da droning din of power-transformers and/or minuscule rapidly-flapping birds
jumpire: Someone who monitors others' pogo-stick-type leg-actions
lumpire: Someone who monitors Abner Peabody's best buddy, or abnormal bulges
mumpire: Someone who monitors child-bearing females, others' abilities to invoke da Fifth Amendment, or painful jaw-swelling
Other examples of alphabetical umpires include:
numbpire: Someone who monitors da effectiveness of an anesthetic
pumpire: Someone who monitors fluid-locomotion devices
rumpire: Someone who monitors strong drink or da jiggling of other people's behinds
sumpire: Someone who monitors addition-example solutions or overflow-containment devices
tumpire: Someone who monitors da health of others' stomachs
numbpire: Someone who monitors da effectiveness of an anesthetic
pumpire: Someone who monitors fluid-locomotion devices
rumpire: Someone who monitors strong drink or da jiggling of other people's behinds
sumpire: Someone who monitors addition-example solutions or overflow-containment devices
tumpire: Someone who monitors da health of others' stomachs
by QuacksO April 15, 2021
Get the alphabetical umpiremug. BACKcident: Where you either throw out your spine, or run over/into something while driving in reverse
FAXcident: An "oopsie" (such as garbled or overly-sensitive data) regarding printed material dat you sent over da phone lines
HACKcident: A major computer-related screw-up due to your not having updated your malware-shield recently enough
JACKcident: Depending on which version --- original vs. modern --- of da poem you read, this term can mean: (1) what Jill's male companion suffered due to his losing his footing near da top of da hill where da well was, or (2) what JILL HERSELF suffered when she had unprotected sex wif da pot-smoking Jack, and forgot to take her pill at da time. Can also refer to: (3) what can happen if you don't position your mechanical lifting-device properly when changing a tire, or (4) da painful experience dat you'd get when stepping on an unseen knobby/spikey-toy in your stocking-feet!
FAXcident: An "oopsie" (such as garbled or overly-sensitive data) regarding printed material dat you sent over da phone lines
HACKcident: A major computer-related screw-up due to your not having updated your malware-shield recently enough
JACKcident: Depending on which version --- original vs. modern --- of da poem you read, this term can mean: (1) what Jill's male companion suffered due to his losing his footing near da top of da hill where da well was, or (2) what JILL HERSELF suffered when she had unprotected sex wif da pot-smoking Jack, and forgot to take her pill at da time. Can also refer to: (3) what can happen if you don't position your mechanical lifting-device properly when changing a tire, or (4) da painful experience dat you'd get when stepping on an unseen knobby/spikey-toy in your stocking-feet!
Additional examples of alphabetical accidents include:
LAXcident: Refers to either: (1) an unfortunate mishap due to one or more people's not being careful/attentive/cautious enough, or (2) an unexpected calamity at da big airport in Southern California
MAXcident: What insurance-fraud crooks try to create so as to collect da biggest payout dat they possibly can from their injury/damage-related policies
PAXcident: A messy screw-up at da annual gaming-festival
RACKcident: A debacle regarding either a welded-metal wares-platform or da triangular frame for corralling da balls in table-tennis
SACKcident: Refers to either: (1) a messy spillage from a burlap bag, or (2) getting a girl preggo when sharing her sleeping-bag
TACKcident: An unforeseen "big ouch" incident similar to Definition #4 of "Jackcident"
TAXcident: Where you inadvertently let slip about undeclared assets to da IRS
WAXcident: Da unfortunate results of having da hair-removal medium too hot when spreading it on your excessively-furred skin
YAKcident: Refers to either: (1) where you majorly put your foot in your mouth due to uninhibited/indiscreet blabbing, or (2) a mishap regarding a huge hairy mammal with massive curling horns
LAXcident: Refers to either: (1) an unfortunate mishap due to one or more people's not being careful/attentive/cautious enough, or (2) an unexpected calamity at da big airport in Southern California
MAXcident: What insurance-fraud crooks try to create so as to collect da biggest payout dat they possibly can from their injury/damage-related policies
PAXcident: A messy screw-up at da annual gaming-festival
RACKcident: A debacle regarding either a welded-metal wares-platform or da triangular frame for corralling da balls in table-tennis
SACKcident: Refers to either: (1) a messy spillage from a burlap bag, or (2) getting a girl preggo when sharing her sleeping-bag
TACKcident: An unforeseen "big ouch" incident similar to Definition #4 of "Jackcident"
TAXcident: Where you inadvertently let slip about undeclared assets to da IRS
WAXcident: Da unfortunate results of having da hair-removal medium too hot when spreading it on your excessively-furred skin
YAKcident: Refers to either: (1) where you majorly put your foot in your mouth due to uninhibited/indiscreet blabbing, or (2) a mishap regarding a huge hairy mammal with massive curling horns
by QuacksO July 23, 2021
Get the alphabetical accidentsmug. by Bag full of children April 5, 2023
Get the Alphabetmug. by not your teeth June 24, 2022
Get the rainbow alphabet soupmug. BATtributes: Details of either a wooden baseball-whacker, or a flying cave-dweller.
CATtributes: Da specifics of Mr. Furry-Purry.
DATtributes: Da performance-specs of 21st-century audio-recording.
FATtributes: How overweight someone is, and whether it's due to overeating, junk food, or a medial condition.
GATTributes: Details of da infamous international-commerce accord which was much-frowned-upon by many countries.
HATtributes: Da appearance, fit, and quality of head-wear.
KATtributes: Da ingredients, size/weight, and texture/taste of da famous red-wrapped candy-bar.
LATTE-ributes: How good your cup of milky espresso was.
MATTE-ributes: Details of a non-glossy painting.
CATtributes: Da specifics of Mr. Furry-Purry.
DATtributes: Da performance-specs of 21st-century audio-recording.
FATtributes: How overweight someone is, and whether it's due to overeating, junk food, or a medial condition.
GATTributes: Details of da infamous international-commerce accord which was much-frowned-upon by many countries.
HATtributes: Da appearance, fit, and quality of head-wear.
KATtributes: Da ingredients, size/weight, and texture/taste of da famous red-wrapped candy-bar.
LATTE-ributes: How good your cup of milky espresso was.
MATTE-ributes: Details of a non-glossy painting.
Other examples of alphabetical attributes are:
NATtributes: Da appearance and personality of Daniel McCormick's pint-sized side-kick in "Forever Young".
PATtributes: Da dimensions of a slab of butter, Trish's particular qualities, or da delightfulness-level of gentle palm-bounces on someone's shoulder or head.
RATtributes: Da anatomical details of everyone's least-favorite rodent.
SATtributes: How someone rests on his butt, or da perceived difficulty/fairness of school-exams.
TATtributes: How Madea defines her temper-management issues ("I'm not angry; I'm just gettin' da gotters!")
VATtributes: Details regarding a large laboratory-basin.
WATTributes: Da voltage and current of da "angry pixies" in an electrical circuit.
NATtributes: Da appearance and personality of Daniel McCormick's pint-sized side-kick in "Forever Young".
PATtributes: Da dimensions of a slab of butter, Trish's particular qualities, or da delightfulness-level of gentle palm-bounces on someone's shoulder or head.
RATtributes: Da anatomical details of everyone's least-favorite rodent.
SATtributes: How someone rests on his butt, or da perceived difficulty/fairness of school-exams.
TATtributes: How Madea defines her temper-management issues ("I'm not angry; I'm just gettin' da gotters!")
VATtributes: Details regarding a large laboratory-basin.
WATTributes: Da voltage and current of da "angry pixies" in an electrical circuit.
by QuacksO February 24, 2021
Get the alphabetical attributesmug. A-to-Z terms for assorted "stash of cash" type holdings, such as:
bassets: How many fish ya caught (can also refer to how deep musical-notes ya can produce from yer audio system)
brassets: Da total number/amount of copper-alloy items dat ya possess
cassets: Da monetary holdings dat Silas Marner's friend Godfrey shared wif him to help wif Eppie's upbringing; could also refer to how many audio-tapes ya have
classets: Da students attending a particular grade in school
crassets: Da "reserve" of "non G-rated" remarks/actions dat ya are willing/able to perform
gassets: Da quantity of already-produced methane dat ya have "stockpiled" inside yer colon so dat ya can fart on demand
glassets: How many beakers, test tubes, bottles, goblets, etc., dat ya possess
grassets: Can refer to either how lush yer lawn is, or da quantity of cannabis dat ya presently have in yer "happy" stash
bassets: How many fish ya caught (can also refer to how deep musical-notes ya can produce from yer audio system)
brassets: Da total number/amount of copper-alloy items dat ya possess
cassets: Da monetary holdings dat Silas Marner's friend Godfrey shared wif him to help wif Eppie's upbringing; could also refer to how many audio-tapes ya have
classets: Da students attending a particular grade in school
crassets: Da "reserve" of "non G-rated" remarks/actions dat ya are willing/able to perform
gassets: Da quantity of already-produced methane dat ya have "stockpiled" inside yer colon so dat ya can fart on demand
glassets: How many beakers, test tubes, bottles, goblets, etc., dat ya possess
grassets: Can refer to either how lush yer lawn is, or da quantity of cannabis dat ya presently have in yer "happy" stash
Additional examples of "alphabetical assets" include:
lassets: Da names in yer "little black book"
massets: Can refer to either (1) da total volume of bulk dat ya possess, or da total amount dat a Catholic church has accumulated from passing da collection plate
passets: Monetary resources dat ya either had handed to ya or acquired by visiting dat big city in Texas (i.e., "Ell Passo")
sassets: Da number of "juss flippin' yer switchiz" wisecracks dat ya have "on standby" to good-naturedly tease someone
TASSets: How much of yer investment-portfolio is tied up in Russian-news-agency stocks
lassets: Da names in yer "little black book"
massets: Can refer to either (1) da total volume of bulk dat ya possess, or da total amount dat a Catholic church has accumulated from passing da collection plate
passets: Monetary resources dat ya either had handed to ya or acquired by visiting dat big city in Texas (i.e., "Ell Passo")
sassets: Da number of "juss flippin' yer switchiz" wisecracks dat ya have "on standby" to good-naturedly tease someone
TASSets: How much of yer investment-portfolio is tied up in Russian-news-agency stocks
by QuacksO October 28, 2025
Get the alphabetical assetsmug.