Sad Boner

sad boner (noun):
A melancholic phenomenon that occurs when one's nether regions become engorged with gloomy desires. This peculiar state of arousal brings about a simultaneous surge of longing and despair, making it the perfect embodiment of Emo or Goth sensibilities.

Originating from the depths of existential angst, a sad boner stands as a symbol of a tormented soul, trapped in a physical manifestation of emotional turmoil. It is an embodiment of the eternal struggle between desire and desolation, where the body yearns for pleasure while the mind wallows in melancholy.

This unique state of erection, often cloaked in black attire and adorned with sorrowful accessories, embodies a paradoxical fusion of longing and hopelessness. The sad boner's somber aura is best complemented by dark eyeliner, brooding music, and poetic soliloquies about the futility of existence.

To experience a sad boner is to dwell in the twilight realm of desire, where pleasure and pain intertwine like vines in a neglected cemetery. It is a paradoxical dance of excitement and sorrow, evoking a morose aesthetic that could make even Edgar Allan Poe shed a tear of grim admiration.

Caution should be exercised when encountering a sad boner, as attempting to assuage its melancholy with conventional means of arousal may prove futile. Only the gentle touch of an understanding soul, versed in the art of consoling melancholia, stands a chance of appeasing this enigmatic entity.
"Amidst the haunting melodies of The Cure, his heartache took a tangible form—his sad boner stood erect, a poignant symbol of his love's tragic demise."
by Alba82 June 10, 2023
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Sadness Aneurysm

When one attacks oneself verbally during a period of sadness or other negative emotion (anger, etc.), usually with plenty of force. (Ex.: Calling oneself an idiot, retard or other attribute that insults the person’s intelligence, actions, etc.). One will frequently speak in 2nd person. Sadness Aneurysms come in 3 stages:

1. The victim will begin to feel their sadness change to anger, and will occasionally begin to growl, grumble or otherwise voice their emotional morphing.

2. The victim will begin to mentally insult themselves, yelling insults at themselves in their heads. You should be able to tell by now if they are having a sadness aneurysm, as their face will frequently turn red.

3. The insults become verbal, and the person may mumble or shout them, depending on the severity of the sadness aneurysm. Eventually, the person will either cool down, or commit mass homicide to all around them. It is best not to talk to them, particularly in this stage, as they may lash out, making the sadness aneurysm worse. This stage gives the sadness aneurysm its name, as the victim will usually act as if they are having an aneurysm.
John: Dammit! You should have gotten that test question right, you bumbling, idiotic fool! How can you live with yourself?!

Steve: What’s up with John?

Tom: Leave him be. He’s having a sadness aneurysm because he messed up on an easy question that failed him the math test today.

Steve: Oh. Ok.
by WrinklyWhitePooForFee April 10, 2019
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Sad Volcano

I . When a male is engaging in an act of vigorous masterbation and is ready to induce a romantic explosion. However, the contents of the scene in the pornographic film unexpectedly switches to less desirable content after the masterbater has already committed to purging gametes. The resulting effect is the masterbater attempting to cease the ejaculation but experiences a low force expulsion of seminal fluid.

II . When a male is participating in sexual courtship with a female that is ravenously performing either oral pleasure, an eych-jay, or intercourse in an overly zealous manner causing the male to lose control of his mojo. The male tries to stop the sensation but is too late resulting in a low force expulsion of seminal fluid.

Note***
No orgasm is experienced during a sad volcano . . .
_________________________________________
Examples:

I . Ya this one time I was watchin' a random video I found and it seemed legit so I took a gamble and committed before fast forwarding and then the scene switched to a zoom-in of some random guy beating off in the background. . . I tried to stop but it was a sad volcano.

II . Dasheekee was givin' me an eych-jay and then just stuck it in while we were watchin' Legend of the Hidden Temple on Nickelodeon but it felt too bomb so I told her to stop moving but it was too late . . . sad volcano.
by draconistheory.blogspot.com October 19, 2012
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sad jerk

When you're feeling really down about something but you wanna get a quicky in.
"Dude, I was thinking about her again...
I just needed one bad, so I just sad jerked it."
by Ayy.jpg September 23, 2017
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sad meme

A very sad meme, usually stated as a response to something bad happening in the present, past, or future. This saying is a derivative of "Sad Face".
Person 1: I failed my exam bro.
Person 2: Sad meme.

Person 1: We are out of weed.
Person 2: Sad memeeeeeeee.

Person 1: I think we are going to lose the game.
Person 2: Sad meme, why do you think that?
by KhemBoi December 13, 2017
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Sad Liker

When a person Likes their own post, they're a Sad Liker. The reason behind doing this is because they found their post decent, so they don't want to take it down, but it wasn't noticed by anybody else. It's existence is useless. So, to avoid embarrassing themselves, they create the illusion that someone actually cared about the shit they had to say.

We've all been there. Don't lie to yourself.
Stephanie: "Whoa! Dude! Have you seen your last post? It has ZERO likes!"
Kevin: "WUT?" *Furiously logs in to his account*
Stephanie: "And you were so popular, too... Where are all your followers at?"
Kevin: *Quietly clicks the thumbs-up*"What are you talking about? It has a like."
Stephanie: "I see through your lies, Kevin... You Sad Liker."
by Bill "Bill" Billson August 03, 2016
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Sad-hillary

When Hillary dabs and whips and still doesn't become president
I'm still quite mad dude, she should've won with her sad-hillary
by Will Wheatley November 10, 2016
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