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Kitchen raccoon

a woman who goes into the kitchen before bed and eats a bit of all the trash after dumpster diving the cabinets
My wife decided to be a kitchen raccoon tonight and found the old cosmic brownie at the back of the pantry
by Joaninha_Boa June 17, 2025
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Raccooning

raccooning (verb)
ra·coon·ing | /rəˈko͞oniNG/

1. The art of staying home all day doing absolutely nothing productive — just eating trash food, binging movies, gaming, scrolling, and living like a little indoor trash panda.
2. A full-day commitment to laziness, snacks, and zero social interaction. Similar to “goblin mode,” but cuter and grimier.
• “Don’t text me today, I’m raccooning hard with chips and Netflix.”
• “She skipped the party to raccoon on the couch with ice cream and Mario Kart.”
• “If chilling were a sport, raccooning would win gold every time.”
by MendesX July 30, 2025
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Raccoon Trap

1. A person who’s an absolute disaster wrapped in cheap cologne and bad decisions — irresistibly chaotic, like a glittery dumpster fire you know you shouldn’t look at but can’t turn away from.
2. Someone whose life is such a mess that even raccoons would hesitate to rummage through it, yet they still manage to lure others in with a toxic mix of charm, drama, and emotional instability.
Example:
“Girl, don’t fall for him again — he’s a total raccoon trap. That’s not love, that’s a feral situation
by LoverOfSTrangeBallons August 6, 2025
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Raccoon Guillotine

When the asshole is trained tirelessly to reach peak physical excellence. This asshole will become so strong that it can decapitate an adult raccoon with a single flex.
Caiden’s so tight! He’s got a real case of a raccoon guillotine
by Lord Tickle August 28, 2025
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Raccoon

A woman that picks up men to take advantage of what they can get from them. Example: Free rent, food, drugs or money. When there is nothing to be taken, she disappears. Often from a man just getting out of a relationship or the relationship ended because she had her little grubby hand in it.
Digging through the remains of a ruined relationship for left over scraps. Often times a relationship she helped ruin.
She was just a raccoon, took everything I had and vanished....

She racooned me. Once I didn't have anything to offer her she was on to the next one....
by LaughingAlot June 3, 2024
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Purple Raccoon

Used to refer to something that reminds you of your ex partner in a bad way
by Spooflet July 28, 2024
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Crusty Raccoon

When your partner is eating your ass and you blow a righteous aroma of shit out and it gives them pink eyes.
“What happened to your face, Steph?”
“My fucking boyfriend gave me a crusty raccoon!”
by Zero_G93 July 8, 2023
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