Da infamous "insider trading" crook who got busted 'cuz he couldn't resist regaling everyone with braggardly tales about da windfall profits of his clever sneakiness.
If Ivan Boastky had just kept his mouth shut, he might have gotten away with his chicanery, just as Odysseys could likely have escaped da cyclops's wrath if he'd just quietly sailed away, rather than loudly shouting his triumph at having outsmarted said murderous giant.
by QuacksO January 27, 2022

The supreme religion, in which Ivan is the supreme deity.
Statistics show 'Ivanists' (followers of Ivanism) live on average 11 times longer, and are 60 times as happy!
Ivanists have a set of 'Tenets' by which every Ivanist must abide:
1. Ivan is the way
2. Have no gods before Ivan
3. Convert as many people as possible to Ivanism
4. Say the most diabolical, discombobulated things to Ivanists
5. You must believe the universe was created in the image of Ivan
6. Every Ivanist is beautiful in the eyes of Ivan.
Ivanism originated when Ivan had spoken to a particular Ivanov, and told the latter "You must spread my gospel and Ivangelise the world"
Statistics show 'Ivanists' (followers of Ivanism) live on average 11 times longer, and are 60 times as happy!
Ivanists have a set of 'Tenets' by which every Ivanist must abide:
1. Ivan is the way
2. Have no gods before Ivan
3. Convert as many people as possible to Ivanism
4. Say the most diabolical, discombobulated things to Ivanists
5. You must believe the universe was created in the image of Ivan
6. Every Ivanist is beautiful in the eyes of Ivan.
Ivanism originated when Ivan had spoken to a particular Ivanov, and told the latter "You must spread my gospel and Ivangelise the world"
Ivanist: "Would you like to join the supreme religion of Ivanism?"
Potential Ivanist: "Yes of course, everyone should join Ivanism!"
Potential Ivanist: "Yes of course, everyone should join Ivanism!"
by Ivanthepreacher May 27, 2022

Me: Bae you is naughty
bae: you is a trash ass n*** fr
me: aite i see whats up.
bae: Ivan gonzalez is sectrely my homie,
bae: you is a trash ass n*** fr
me: aite i see whats up.
bae: Ivan gonzalez is sectrely my homie,
by PizzaBoiAyyLMao August 17, 2017

by DontDeviois November 22, 2023

by ginahani October 7, 2009

Ivan has the dick of a god. U will never want another man in your life after him. Cause he‘s THE man. Just don‘t let ur ivan get a buzzcut. They look like shit with it. Love u
by Yomum969 August 15, 2023
