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well fuck me in the ass and call me queer 

Guy: Dude, that guy just got shot up on the block by a gang of well hung hispanics with glocks and m16s!
Other Guy: Well fuck me in the ass and call me queer!?!?!?!

down in a well 

To be deep inside the well (poço) with or without water.
I'm down in a well, and there's no way to come up.
down in a well by Demke September 3, 2007

Trout in the well 

Conragulations, I heard you have a trout in the well.

well put me in a dress and call me susie 

timmy:I just got a gf
jimmy:well put me in a dress and call me susie
timmy:wtf

drop Timmy in the well 

Will you please excuse me while I drop Timmy in the well?

well ain’t that a kick in the head 

When something happens that is surprising, or something that makes you reassure or realize something.
Jerald: hey, did you hear that Jim broke up with terry for a nice looking bagel?
John: well ain’t that a kick in the head!