The Jesus Fandom

The perfect synonym for Christianity

In a sentence:

man this makes me want to quit The Jesus fandom

Example:

Bob: hey thought you were going to church

Chad: nah i quit that fandom a long time ago

by Echophobia April 26, 2022

what the jesus?

Like saying "What the hell?" or "What the fuck?" with softer language. Used in response to a completely random or inappropriate comment.

>It burns when I pee.
>>What the Jesus?

by geoff April 22, 2005

pin the nail on the jesus

a game played by jews, rather than pin the tail on the donkey.

The Jew across the street invited me to play pin the nail on the jesus, but i told him hell no.

by RMG September 7, 2004

Kiss the Jesus

Catholic Church code phrase used by Priests whilst in the confessional instructing the unwary confessee to "Kiss the Jesus." This is always accompanied by the sound of a zipper coming down in a rapid manner and a loud, "BOING-ing" sound as the erect penis of the Priest, at the sight of a ten year old boy, pops out of his Cassock.

Gerald, Ten Year Old Boy: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession."

Catholic Priest: "Say five Our Fathers and One Hail Mary and KISS THE JESUS."

<zip, BOING, followed by smooching noises>

by T&E September 7, 2005

What the Jesus Christ man?!

Similar to "What the Jesus?" but used in times of immense anger where no other words can come to mind.

Example 1:

After being cut off at highspeed on the freeway:

"What the Jesus Christ man?!"

Example 2:

After one walks in to find a significant other cheating:

"Honey this is not what it looks like"

Reaching for gun:

"What the Jesus Christ man?!"

by Rustee John April 19, 2008

By-the-Jesus

'You betcha', yes, as if in a state of amazement - term used by a dieing breed of hard core, no nonsense north eastern men and women. (less urban, more rural...)

...just 1 day after getting out 'da hospital for the treatments, and by-the-Jesus, if she didn't take off crosslots to go see her her sap was on...

by madravenpix January 1, 2009

Double fist me the Jesus

Coffee. And lots of it. Originally used because someone was having two iced coffees

Im having a stressful day. Double fist me the Jesus!

by PKlady March 24, 2023