Texas Parachute

A technique where a used, prefferably lubricated condom is slapped upon an unsuspected face.

" Man, Devin was so drunk that Josh just walked right up to him and gave him the old Texas Parachute."

by fat freddie December 27, 2009

Parachute Penis

A rarely occuring anomaly in which the penis is protruding through the end of a condom upon completion of a sexual act involving penetration. The rubber o-ring is all that is left to fasten the tattered rubber to the penis. Often times this will be followed by an "Oh shit" and possibly a purchase of the morning after pill. Mythically caused by rough sex; some believe that parachute penis is a syndrome caused by canine molars deep within the vaginal orphace.

Every time I have sex with my slam piece, I get parachute penis.

by "BAD" May 1, 2011

Monkey Parachute School

One of the lost Bert Reynolds movies. Made early in his career the film is based on a true story of how the British trained monkeys as bombers during the second world war. The monkeys used to have explosives either strapped to them or around their necks. They would parachute out of a plane, land on enemy soil and them run into bunkers and buildings before setting off the bombs. It was seen as a key strategy in the British removing several men of power in Berlin.

The film stars many young actors and Bert Reynolds appearance as a pilot is short lived (he ends up being mashed by a jet engine). The film failed to make any mark at the cinemas and has been restricted to late night television showings on small satellite channels. The film is famous for the lack of one important thing.. Bert Reynolds doesn't have his mustache in it!

Bert: Monkeys! What the sodding hell do they know about parachutes.
Capt. England: More than a washed up fighter pilot.

by Jessop August 8, 2005

Salty Parachute

When semen is ejaculated and floats gracefully towards the ground.

Usually performed from a height.

Guy 1: "One time when I was on holidays. I was doing my best doggy style with this bird on a balcony, I pull out, shoot the business over the edge and it floated down like a Salty Parachute"

Guy 2: "No you didn't!"

by LobsterMoxie July 25, 2018

Speed Parachute

When someone blows speed up your anal orifice.

The playmate I dated stuck a speed parachute up my ass once without really letting on to what she was up to and holy fuck I was a chunk of granite and must of pumped a few quarts of chowder out whenever she decided I should. That was one fucked up fuck fest. Mostly in the kitchen.

by Sam Moj November 30, 2021

packing each other's parachutes

having a homoerotic moment

those two hang out together all the time.

yeah, i think they are definitely packing each other's parachutes

by nevvaknow October 7, 2008

Parachute Poo

When you stuff the base of a toilet with tissue paper to avoid an embarrasing splash and also to avoid taking the blame for the rancid smells as you leave. This is usually accompanied by very careful, stealthily release of ones flatulance. For added effect you can also shoot a disaproving look towards an engaged cubicle as you wash your hands (making sure fellow hand-washers see) to shift the blame onto an unsuspecting victim. This especially applies in a public bathroom and is typically actioned by women.

The bathroom in the shopping centre was packed, so to keep her dignity, Sarah let rip with a PARACHUTE POO, thus leaving everyone oblivious to the fact that it was her that just cut the cheese.

by DurtyDlox September 18, 2006