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Monkey Branching

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.
Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022
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Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.
by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008
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Related Words

Spunky Monkey

n. A mixed drink, similar in taste to a mudslide, but with definite coffee tones. Very tasty! Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
2 shots Kahlua
1 shot Amaretto
1/2 cup Half-and-half
6 Ice cubes

Mixing instructions:
Add above ingrediants in a blender. Blend on high until the ice is crushed. Serve in a cocktail glass. No garnish.

A variation of the drink is called the Spunky Orangutan. For those who don't like coffee at all, replace the Kahlua with Bailey's Irish Cream. While chocolatey and without coffee bitterness of the Spunky Monkey, it also has an amazing hint of marchino cherry. Also very tasty!
Hey barkeep! Another Spunky Monkey, please!
by Dan Weyandt April 10, 2008
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Monke

Where banana?
“Where banana”-Monke
by Wherebanana? October 17, 2020
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monke

monke can do many things. monke swim. monke swing. monke rotate. monke spin. monke eat banana. monke eat coconut.

Reject humanity, return to monke.
Person 1: monke?

Person 2: monke.

Person 3: monke good.
by ill0gical March 25, 2021
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sucks monkey fucks

*Really* sucking. Really being bad, beyond words. Usually applied to old, (S)NES video games but can also be used when sucking at doing something.
AVGN: It sucks so much it fucks. It fucks so much it sucks. It sucks monkey fucks.
by avgn_fan42 September 4, 2010
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Moikey

What most MCR fans on tumblr call Mikey Way.

The origin is obviously the song Vampire Money
Well are you ready Ray?
YEAH
How bout you Frank?
OH, IM THERE, BABY.
AND YOU MOIKEYYY
FUCKING READY.
well i think im all right
1-2-3 GO!!!!
by poopybuttocks April 12, 2011
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