Skip to main content

Hackers Manifesto 

I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores

Damn underachiever. They're all alike.

I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...
Or feels threatened by me...
Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found.

"This is it... this is where I belong..."

I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...

Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, orignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
Hackers Manifesto by Kyouko August 27, 2009
Hackers Manifesto mug front
Get the Hackers Manifesto mug.
See more merch

G MANIFESTO 

The Blueprint for being an International Playboy on the riseThe definative guide to being a G. The guide to getting more out of life.
Q: "what is the best way to swoop ill rich girls?"
A: "you need to check the G Manifesto"

Q: "How do I become a Playboy?"
A: Read the G Manifesto!
G MANIFESTO by Trigga Da Illest September 8, 2008

Communist Manifesto 

Karl Marx's political platform, outlining his beliefs about Communism.
Stalin did not agree with many of the principals in the Communist Manifesto, so he made his own up.
Communist Manifesto by Me January 14, 2004

Manifesto 

Generally, this is really just a fancy term for an essay. Alternatively, it can be used for an essay that's too good to be called an essay (especially if it's a rather grandiose critique on something).
1) Mom: Why you still up at 4am?
Me: Sorry just gotta finish up my manifesto before it's due tomorrow

2) Calvin wrote a huge manifesto on the relationship between technological determinism & porn addiction and posted it on Reddit, but no one ever paid attention.

communist manifesto 

A document writen by Karl Marx AND Frederick Engels describing their ideal Communist soceity.
The Communist Manifesto is some confusing shit. I hate "isms"
communist manifesto by L-ho December 25, 2005

cornuism manifesto 

The plot by corn farmers and the FDA to take over the world through the growth of corn and the manufacturing of high fructose corn syrup. These greedy bastards are soaking up our youth in obesity caused by their unhealthy food products. They also feed the corn to the animals that are mass produced that we ever so blindly eat. Eventually, there will be no healthy food and the corn will rule us all. The food system is taking over... be fat or die.
fuck, I'm so hungry pass me my cornsoda

the cornuism manifesto has made me hate my greedy country

cornuism manifesto will destroy america long before any president is able to do so
hide your children.. wait.. it's all full of corn
cornuism manifesto by squatchwatch November 28, 2011

meat beat manifesto 

A manifesto written by a man who's been in seclusion for so long he feels the need to keep a log tracking how many times he masturbates per day.
"The man had been living in a cabin deep in the Appalachian mtns for years by himself. After his passing local hikers were intrigued to find his secluded cabin.Inside they were surprised and excited to find his animal skins, man made tools , a hammock,and his meat beat manifesto."