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Modern Football 

A term used the describe the negative aspects of (association) football as it stands today.

Specifically, Modern Football refers to:

- rip-off ticket prices and merchandise
- all seater stadia
- over-zealous policing and stewarding of football crowds
- players being traded like merchandise
- games being played at non traditional times

- teams changing places (see MK Dongs)
- foreign club owners who know sod all about anything
- the stupid amounts of money involved in the sport generally

What this means is that real, passionate fans are priced out from watching their own teams, and are replaced by corporate wankers who turn football grounds into soulless libraries. The few true fans who still go to matches are treated like scum by stewards and police.

With this much money involved the powers that be (FIFA, UEFA etc) are extremely corrupt, and are open to bribes; either money or sexual favours.

There are however, those who resist...

In Europe, lively, colourful and rowdy supporters known as Ultras are committed to fighting modern football. They are very organised and powerful; to the point, in some cases that they effectively run the club.

In other instances, disgusted fans have broken away to form their own club. For example:

FC United of Manchester from Manchester United
AFC Wimbledon from MK Dons
SV Austria Salzburg from FC Red Bull Salzburg

Football is ours, it's time to take it back.
Against Modern Football!
ACAB!
Modern Football by skankmaestro January 24, 2011

Bobuk defensive football philosophy

Tell him the basis of my defensive philosophy is if he can’t tackle the fucking dive then we’re playing strictly offense and we’re just gonna outscore the opponent
Did you hear the bobuk defensive football philosophy it’s pretty good... yeah man I don’t get why more nfl teams don’t use it
A vicious, highly infectious disease in men that is spread when the groin region gets intentionally farted on by another person (not necessarily one with fartballs). Common symptoms are denial and irrational aggressiveness towards people named Michael.
Bob: Hey Michael, I heard Joey has fartballs
Michael:
Joey: I do not have fartballs! Fuck you, Michael!
fartballs by Jack Fitzy February 15, 2022

Brexit Football 

A style of football often played by bottom half premier league teams with an English manager consisting of route one football with target men and set pieces.
Burnley survived relegation thanks to their brexit football.

hasn't seen the football since the kickoff 

Often used by Professor Steve Hailey and his students to affectionately describe a miscreant, degenerate, reprobate, or idiot that decided to read the book or watch the video on cybersecurity and/or digital forensics versus getting a real education.
The opposing expert said that Mr. Hailey and Mr. Andrew changed the computer evidence because she did not know how to properly interpret time and date stamps. Obviously, she hasn't seen the football since the kickoff; another point-and-click forensic analyst.

duh football 

An expression used by someone who has just done or said something very stupid.
Drat! I forgot to turn off the circuit breaker before sticking my penis into the light socket! Duh football!!
duh football by Dentar June 24, 2006