shake the hand of the unemployed

For males who are not getting sex on a regular basis, when they go to the toilet to take a piss and when they finish, shake their penis to get off the last few drops of pee. That action is shaking the hand of the unemployed.

Arnold asked Helen where the toilet was, as he needed to go shake the hand of the unemployed.

by Ethal The Frog September 24, 2013

Unemployed

Most people who are now unemployed had jobs before the coronavirus shutdowns because they would choose a steady job over unemployment with benefits and not knowing when they'll be back at work. The same people who wanted businesses shut down for the virus are the ones trying to give the workers shit about unemployment benefits and getting new jobs and reopening. The fucked up thing is the same people are also wanting the newly unemployed people they want to get back to work now to freak out all over again in the fall if a second wave arrives and they lose the jobs they've had for about 3 or 4 months, when they want the businesses shut down again.

Most people who are unemployed dont want to keep being unemployed forever. If you've been unemployed before, you know it's not fun, it's not a vacation.

by Solid Mantis May 27, 2020

Actively Unemployed

A situation in which a person is completely content while living off of unemployment benefits and thus makes a concerted effort to remain jobless until all unemployment benefits have been exhausted.

Chris: Any luck finding a job this week man?

Greg: Heck no, I am actively unemployed right now!! My life is too good with all this free time off plus I get my unemployment pay... I am not even considering getting another job until my benefits run out. You up for a drink tonight??

by halfway_crooks November 12, 2009

self un-employed

a word concocted by the truly pitiful, however creative, species of mankind whom is un-employed.

K: I work at the Hilton. What do you do?
M: I'm self-unemployed!

by Kat November 25, 2004

employed thot

A bitch on Facebook who has three jobs but spends most of her free time sleeping around. Be wary because all she really has to offer is ramen noodles and good cat.

My best friend had a baby with that employed thot and now he pays bookoo child support and has hypertension.

by RestroomPoetry October 6, 2015

Self Employed Agorist

A self-employed Agorist is usually someone that takes themselves way too seriously and sucks off the works of Samuel Edward Konkin III. Some Agorists are hard-working members of society but the self-employed Agorist chooses to stay home 3D printing whatever bullshit their meth-addicted mind can come up with I.e. (3D printing those bump dildos). Instead of treating Agorism as a side job they devote their lives to this get rich quick scheme instead of cleaning houses or working at a liquor store they choose to remain in the same economic condition they were in the first place.

Regular Agorist - Man I worked this long shift now to sell candles on the weekend hey man what did you do all day?
Self Employed Agorist - I spent all day 3D printing some (Insert bullshit here)
Regular Agorist - Ah Cool that's a cool side job
Self Employed Agorist - Side job?

by SloanDome September 25, 2019

unemployed

to jonese at home all day everyday

Tyson Oliveira has been unemployed for decades

by Nico Malorni April 1, 2008