run some diagnostics on the commode

A formal way of saying "take a shit"

Tikh: Hey where ya headed to so fast?
Dylan: I just had my morning coffee, and now I gotta run some diagnostics on the commode!

by Lil' Enyaw December 11, 2016

blow your load on the commode

To masturbate to fruition whilst taking a shit.

"The bus will be here in five minutes, looks like you'll have to blow your load on the commode, Billy!" mother shouted up the stairs.

by C. H. Diddlemebum October 16, 2007

redneck lovin' commode huggin' drunk

A common Southern expression to describe somebody who is Extremely Drunk.

Yeah, you should've seen Larry last night. Buddy, I want you to know, he was redneck lovin' commode huggin' drunk! He threw-up in the bathroom when we finally got him home.

by Shane56 August 15, 2021

road commode

The nastiest dirtiest slut you can imagine that everyone has had a piece of worse than a dope whore

That bitch is such a nasty road commode I wouldn't touch her with someone else's dick.

by Funny frog June 20, 2016

air commode

air commodore

The Air Commode (as we christened him) wanted someone to go to Achill with him …

by Delbosco October 15, 2021

Brownie À La Commode

Giving your partner oral while they're on the toilet.

Theresa was giving Vinny a world famous Brownie À La Commode.

by Tree Pagz February 15, 2018

Commodus Interruptus

When you sit down in a bathroom stall at work to escape your coworkers and play on your phone, but then someone plops down in the stall next to you forcing you to leave earlier than planned and go back to work

I was sitting in the shitter at work checking Pokémon Go when some dude came in and pulled a total Commodus Interruptus on my ass. I had to leave before my nose hairs curled too much.

by Ed Rooney Jr July 18, 2016