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closure head

When one has broken up with their partner, and they manipulate their ex-partner into felatio after the split. This can be done through weeping, grimacing, or other acts of pity.
That dome was fantastic, I’m never gonna be able to move on until I get that closure head.
by slaw goodman July 2, 2023
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Closure Text

A 'closure text' occurs when one party to a breakup or argument tries to get the last word or sends an attempt to induce guilt via text message after the fact.
"I would have loved you and we could have been great together but you ruined it. I wish you the best. Let's be friends one day. This is my closure text."
by omg wyoming October 7, 2011
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closure

1. To attempt to 'move on' following the termination of a relationship with another individual.
2. When used in a sentence, insinuates that the individual using the word is the same individual who was the target of the 'break-up'.
3. A word used by overly-emotional, self-centered 'drama queens' (mostly women and gay men).
4. Individuals using this word generally will utter the word 'chapter' during their often one-sided conversations.
5. A word created during the 90's which was borne out of individuals unable to cope with relationship failure.
6. Individuals using this word insinuate that the more stable party is responsible for all of the 'closured' individual's problems, as well as the War in Iraq, airbag safety issues, the Democratic National Convention, dustless chalk, nipples on men, PMS, and bad-hair days.
Betsy: So whadda' you think, Donna?

Donna: Well, you gotta' let me read the damn thing!

Betsy: Okay, okay... sorry!

Donna: (Reads out loud)

Dear Betsy,

It has been four long months and I
can no longer be party to this
relationship. Yes, you do have the
finest body I've ever seen, and as
you have repeatedly told me, no one
gives better head. I understand our
college football and baseball teams
can confirm this as well. Honestly,
the fact that you have slept with
everyone in the faculty is not the
problem I'm having. The problem is
your hygiene. Most women clean
themselves off after sex... the
corners of the mouth, the pearl
necklace... and, umm, you know what I
mean. If you at least brushed your
teeth each day, your dentist wouldn't
have to contend with the variety of
pubic hair in your mouth.

I'm sorry, Betsy, but I need a woman
with standards... any kind of
standards. Just not you.

You suck,

Dave

Betsy: Well?? What do you think?

Donna: Well, you do need to brush. That's gross.

Betsy: I NEED CLOSURE!

Donna: No, you need a life, you self-centered drama queen!

Betsy: Oh! Another chapter in my life ends!

Donna: Don't start with me, bitch.
by Glastonbury Dex January 30, 2008
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closer

someone that can close the sale. Sell anything to anybody at anytime.
Jim... damn that's a lot of paper.(tickets) scott. I sell everyone that walks through the door. jim. that's why your the closer fo real yo. scott. I'm just handling my bussiness. biotch
by scott 007 September 16, 2008
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one step closer

A COOL song by Linkin Park.
Almost as good as 'breaking the habit'.
Breaking the habit,papercut,points of authority, all good songs by linkin park
by N.I.N. July 6, 2005
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closer

The name used for someone who has a clutch role in any situation, similar to a closer in pro baseball.
Come on Papelbon, we’re counting on you to get the weed for the 4am blunt to smoke before we pass out tonight.

You’re in charge of making dessert for our high feast. Unless you can’t handle the pressure of being the closer

Call me a closer cuz I always seal the deal in the bedroom!
by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009
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tripple bagging market closer

when a new hire fails to identify fictitious financial terminology used around the office thereby making him/her look completely ridiculous. One byproduct of this failure to identify sarcasm may be the result of occupying a tiny unit under the pants.
"You see that tripple bagging market closer in the DOW yesterday?"

or

"That tripple bagger close had more balls than the f*cking Celtics locker room"
by Shankster69 September 17, 2012
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