Short for investment banking, an industry devoted to squeezing money out of transactions, famous for paying a metric shitload, being filled with douchebags, and doing absolutely nothing for the benefit of society. It is amazing that anyone actually ends up in this industry, as you have to be very smart to get such a job, but very stupid to take it.
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Vice President #1: "SHIT!!! I'm going to have to spend all weekend getting this investor request done!!!"
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
by Nicholas D May 7, 2007
Get the I-banking mug.Todd - "Your pockets aren't deep enough for her. "
John - "What do you mean?"
Todd - "She's is clearly an Investment Banking Bitch , just look."
John - "What do you mean?"
Todd - "She's is clearly an Investment Banking Bitch , just look."
by daddybigd January 4, 2015
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s: dude, why did you give that beggar dude some money?
t: its all karma banking man. it'll come back apples.
t: its all karma banking man. it'll come back apples.
by lumpy bubbleshorts September 19, 2006
Get the karma banking mug.I couldn't take a dump at the mall. I had to wait until I got home. I don't like to do any branch banking.
by Sara Joseph July 20, 2007
Get the branch banking mug."Mate, I've just been beer banking and we're good to go!"
"Dude, I'm going round the corner to beer bank"
"Dude, I'm going round the corner to beer bank"
by Dave2010 January 20, 2009
Get the Beer Banking mug.His Banking details to access to his money that he needs
Bono : I don’t have access you my banking
Finn : ahhh I am sorry, I also don’t have access to your banking either .
Freckles : Hey Starfire do you have access you have access to Bono’s bank details ?
Starfire : Nope , why would have It ? It has got to be here somewhere ? Just look for it
Finn : I have access to my bank details
Freckles : dammit Bono you are not very smart
Bono : guys !! I can’t help being a gold fish!
Starfire : that’s an understatement
Finn : I am going to the gym
Bono : I don’t have access you my banking
Finn : ahhh I am sorry, I also don’t have access to your banking either .
Freckles : Hey Starfire do you have access you have access to Bono’s bank details ?
Starfire : Nope , why would have It ? It has got to be here somewhere ? Just look for it
Finn : I have access to my bank details
Freckles : dammit Bono you are not very smart
Bono : guys !! I can’t help being a gold fish!
Starfire : that’s an understatement
Finn : I am going to the gym
by nogarDregniG May 15, 2019
Get the My Banking Details mug.When a parent obtains an extra helping of food for their child with intent of eating said food for themselves.
There he goes again, baby-banking a slice of pizza that I just bought. Everyone knows his child will not eat the whole thing and it is just for him.
by GhostSpider August 28, 2021
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