port-tending

When you tend to a port, in the harbor.

Mr. C: What's Johnny do? Last I heard, he was the CEO of a Company.

Mr. D: Haven't you heard?

Mr. G: I haven't heard, what happened?

Mr. D: His degrees got revoked. He's port-tending now.

Mr. C: Hey, what's port-tending?

Mr. G: Oh port-tending, he's tending to the port!!

Mr. D: What a noble profession! I have to go the harbor now!!!

by MosesvsJesus February 25, 2024

Tend to my crops

A mock-authoritative phrase used to degrade or assert dominance in a medieval or fantasy roleplay setting. Often said to a person of color when they’re misbehaving. Meant to be exaggerated and dramatic, not taken seriously.

Quandairus stop pestering the women and tend to my crops

by ANDREWTHEFALLEN July 11, 2025

Faux-tend

The act of logging onto a zoom meeting but not actually being at the meeting.

I don’t really want to go to the meeting so I am going to faux-tend.

by RachelRoxxx September 16, 2020

tending to the slow cooker

to engage in masturbation

Person 1: "Stop messaging me, im tending to the slow cooker."
Person 2: "What?"
Person 1: "Jacking off"

by gazza222 November 7, 2020