Crumpets

1) a biscuitty thingy peoples eat in England.
2) an STD similar to crabs, but like, different.

1) I will eat your soul for brunch with tea and crumpets!
2) Holy hell, that whore gave me crumpets!

by moony November 18, 2003

Crumpets

An exclamation used instead of a curse word. (i.e. Crap, Dammit, etc.)

Sandra: Oh crumpets! i dropped my phone in the toilet!

by whatdidshejustsay? October 24, 2010

cooch crumpets

a genital yeast infection

the doctor diagnosed me with cooch crumpets

by hgffff March 27, 2019

Crumpets

A word used to describe an amazing guitarist who kicks ass at improv and speaks through music more than words.

Dude! That was a sick-ass crumpets solo!

by cheesygrins February 16, 2010

Crumpets

another word for female genitalia.

"Please Ma'am, may I put some love butter on your crumpets?"

by Bradly J. mitchell November 9, 2007

spitting crumpets

Slang for shit British rap music

"That Charli XCX is spitting crumpets on that new track, she should stick to autotune!"

by bad brenda March 6, 2020

tea and crumpets

The act of a male individual throwing a reverse cowgirl or squatting over a woman or man, and dipping his nutsack and cock (aka man junk) into their mouth and making sure his asshole is grinding on their nose.

Usually reserved for an especially vicious slam, use of this phrase can be for the fun of it.

“You just served up some tea and crumpets”
“Would you like some tea and crumpets?”

by bike dick March 6, 2009