fuck me sideways with a chainsaw

referring to someone who is really screwed. just a bigger emphasis on how fucked they are.

this is far from a good thing, if you couldn't tell by the name.

mother; "we're going to visit your grandparents tomorrow! yay!"
daughter; "fuck me sideways with a chainsaw."

by josie minus the pussycats June 29, 2011

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

First used (?) in "Heathers" http://imdb.com/title/tt0097493/ , probably more close to meaning "well, I'll be damned" or "Well, kiss my ass".

Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

by OldFart77 December 9, 2008

Chainsaw Maneuver

A physical act carried out by an overzealous novice attempting to remove a length of anal beads in a forceable manner, as if one was pull-starting a chainsaw.

Becky was really enjoying the anal romp that had ensued for a period of 45 minutes. Then the anal beads were inserted, and her fun came to a screaming end when her partner applied the chainsaw maneuver. Her fun was then completely forgotten when cleanup of the millions of fecal projectiles ensued.

by [e-mail] March 31, 2005

racist chainsaw

possibly the most racist of all the garden tools (including the dirty whoe)

(this is the noice the racist chainsaw makes)run nigger nigger nigger-run nigeer nigger nigger-run nigger nigger nigger-run nigger nigger nigger(repeat)

by bob teats April 16, 2010

chainsaw consultant

Independent contractors brought in by upper management under the auspices of "streamlining work flow", but in actuality to suggest what positions can be eliminated thus reducing headcount and overhead for purposes of downsizing.

In the movie "Office Space" the characters referred to as "The Bobs" are classic examples of chainsaw consultants. The main character avoids being fired through a combination of unexpected brutal honesty about his lack of passion for his position, and also engendering camaraderie with those sent to determine if his
job is really necessary.

by Cale Dempster December 18, 2008

chaised

Pronounced "Shayzed". A short form of "Shitfaced", refers to the feeling one encounters when so intoxicated they cannot stand, thus seeking relief from a chaise lounge.

Dave and Phil were pounding beers on the beach all day. I asked them to come to a party but they were already fucking chaised!

by CanaDave October 24, 2009

Chainsaw Cannon

An absolutely devastating weapon created by a genius determined to exterminate a being that wishes to end all reality. If you ever obtain a Chainsaw Cannon, caution is advised as people will try to steal your ultimate weapon from you, so your only option is to chainsaw cannon them! Then you may rule over your new domain as a chainsaw cannon monarch.

"Hey, i got myself a chainsaw cannon"
"No way!"
"Yeah, and it's aimed at the United States Military!"

by Octagonal Revolver October 6, 2020