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Jesus Christ

The Savior of the entire world. He loved you enough that He died for you on the cross. Come to Him, and He will give you rest. For we are all sinners, and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Admit your sin, repent, trust in Him as your only path towards salvation, and commit your life to Him. If you choose to reject this message, your blood be upon your own head...
Person 1: "Jesus is King!"
Person 2: "No He isn't"
Person 1: "I forgive you, just as He has told me to, just as He has done for the entire world. I love you, and He loved you enough to die for you. Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life."
Person 2: "Oh. that gave me a new change of mind..."
by lizardbois640 June 7, 2025
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Jesus Goodbye

When someone announces their departure from a social gathering, disappears for a while, and then unexpectedly returns, much like Jesus' resurrection.
Tom executed the ultimate Jesus goodbye at the dinner party, informing everyone he was heading home, only to reappear an hour later with a fresh round of drinks
by SausageTunnel March 31, 2024
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Jesus H. God

A quite humorous variation of “Jesus H. Christ”, most famously used in the 1986 film “Short Circuit”. An apt term for expressing your extreme shock at a sudden turn of events.
Weather reporter: “Folks in the DFW area may not be able to see the April 8th solar eclipse due to cloud coverage.”

Person who invested time and money to travel to Texas specifically for this event: “JESUS H. GOD!”
by Alex-2598 April 4, 2024
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Rave Jesus

you basically grab your nearest metal head that has a beard and long hair and throw them in a rave (specifically at a cosplay convention) Give them a little spike-glowstick crown like Jesus and give something to drink like alcohol and BOOM you got your self a rave Jesus
Guy 1: GUYS LOOK, ITS THE RAVE JESUS!!
everyone: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rave Jesus: *passed out on the floor*
by goth_jesus April 8, 2024
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Ricardo Jesues Torres Lopez Jr

A bitch who likes a girl named yamileth Hernandez Cruz he gets his ass destroyed by his big daddy. A nickname for him is chucho
Dang he’s lil bro his name is Ricardo Jesues Torres Lopez Jr
by Rheheeje April 11, 2024
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Paw Paw for Jesus

A phrase from a spoken short story which aired on This American Life from May 22, 1998. A woman stranded in the town of Paw Paw, MI finds the owner of a gas station very unhelpful. She recalls seeing the sign outside a church as she came into town, which proclaimed "Paw Paw for Jesus." She is angry the woman won't help her and starts shouting "Paw Paw for Jesus" to remind her of her Christian duty.
by annmartina May 7, 2024
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Paw Paw for Jesus

A phrase from a spoken short story which aired on This American Life, May 22, 1998. A woman stranded in the town of Paw Paw, MI (It's near Dowagiac, don't cha know) finds the owner of a gas station very unhelpful. She recalls seeing the sign outside a church as she came into town, which proclaimed "Paw Paw for Jesus." She is angry the woman won't help her and starts shouting "Paw Paw for Jesus" to remind her of her Christian duty but becomes slightly obsessed with the phrase.
by annmartina May 7, 2024
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