Speed Tapping

The physical stimulation of repeatedly tapping the anus (aka sphincter) with one or more fingers in a rhythmic beat. Done for the sensation of pleasure, relief of stress, or out of shear boredom on a hot summer day.

1. Speed tapping helps me unwind after a long day.

2. Patient: “Doc, I’ve got a giant lump on my sphincter. What should I do?”
Doctor: “Son, you’re going to need to lay off the speed tapping for a few weeks.”

3. "I did a little speed tapping on the ol' snare drum (anus) last night."

by CaptainObvious69 June 12, 2018

Speed Mooching

The act of following another car traveling at a high rate of speed as to (hopefully) use them to distract any police.

I woulda been late to work if I wasn't speed mooching off that tuner Honda.

by Sqlivnlow April 15, 2019

Stoned Speed

The speed in which a person responds or reacts when they are stoned.

When you're trying to think of an example for stoned speed, then you get stoned speed.

by ScoobyDoo @ Shaggy2 January 17, 2017

Speed Poo

When you only have a couple of minutes spare, but really need to drop a fat log, you must perform what is commonly know as a speed poo. You squeeze the poo out so hard that it leaves your body at the speed of light and you wipe your arse so quick that you get friction burn.

Fred: I’m just gonna go do a poo
Stan: But the show starts in a few minutes
Fred: Yeah I know, I’m gonna do a speed poo

by BentheGod October 7, 2020

corporate speed

Term used to label the slower than desireable decision making process, or most any process for that matter, that is present in many companies and corporations.

This process is moving at corporate speed

by Thriving July 29, 2013

Speed Shit

When u take a shit in less than a minute

Friend: Hold up let me go take a speed shit

by ThatOneGuy528 October 30, 2019

Speed Sexual

When you start watching IShowSpeed You start looking up to him and now you start learning about what he do how he do crazy stuff and now you slowly start to become him and when your fully him Your Speed Sexual is when you act like IShowSpeed normally.

Dude are you acctually autistic? Acctually, No your Speed Sexual. You act like IShowSpeed everyday.

by FrostyAHigh June 19, 2022