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Jesus

That funny guy your middle age mom, 90 Year old grandpa and a couple of the neighbor kids talk about

They say he can perform miracles and heal people like fuckin shining diamond or some shit and that he’ll come back from the dead someday

I ain’t buying that nonsense!

Jesus more like jeSUS

Haha got em
Your Jesus obsessed mom: Ayy you know jebis is gonna judge yo ass for your sins someday right?

You: Nah homie that mf dead let’s get you your meds

Your mom: REEEEEEEEEE
by VeryGoodwithWords May 16, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Bomb

A Bomb the Lord would Love ... Redbull and Red Wine of your choice 🍷🙏 Get your wings and get right with Christ... Cheers
Mike you want a cherrybomb?! Nah bro lets do a Jesus Bomb !!
by B k i z z l e January 15, 2022
mugGet the Jesus Bombmug.

Jetway Jesus

Falsely needing wheelchairs at airports, to get priority boarding when getting ON the plane, but NO LONGER NEED THE WHEELCHAIRS upon arrival.
On that last flight, 14 passengers got on the plane by wheelchair, but by the time we got to Los Angeles, 10 of them had been miraculously healed by "Jetway Jesus!"
by NobodyHereButUsChickens May 26, 2024
mugGet the Jetway Jesusmug.

Jesus

I'm not COMPARING myself to Jesus. I figured out WHY Jesus. This is just what you do to people.
Hym "Amd you don't want me to submit to Jesus. You want me to submit to you by proxy. Jesus isn't here and even if he came back today I wouldn't submit to him. AND! AND... If he is real... He can't even do anything about it because I'm immortal."
by Hym Iam March 2, 2025
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

The Saviour of the World

Trust in Him!!
Jesus loves me this I know

For the Bible tells me so!
Little ones to Him belong

They are weak but He is strong

YEEEEES Jesus loves MEEE!
Yesssss Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves MEE!

The Bible tells me soo
by legoman67 October 1, 2025
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jackin Jesus

A thing a guy says when he’s about to reach an orgasm, commonly used when a guy is jerking off. He’s typically in his christian mothers basement trying to make it seem like he’s praying but he’s not. Obviously.
Jason- OMG IM JACKIN JESUS
by Ben jackinoff in yamomma November 14, 2022
mugGet the Jackin Jesusmug.

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