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Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
mugGet the Jesus's Armymug.

Bongrat Jesus

God in human form, but also a Bong rat (and therefore greater than God himself).
Only Bongrat Jesus himself could pull that off!
by (( (gyfgdfdf October 20, 2021
mugGet the Bongrat Jesusmug.

Jesus

The bible was such a funny not real book, my favourite character was Jesus
by Sam lampost May 4, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

jesus jungkook

Just a nickname. Sometimes it continues to ridiculous lengths.

Btw hi Kii and Jesus. Nice to see ya
#You are not the only one Kaz
#jesus jungkook for life
by iEryka June 26, 2021
mugGet the jesus jungkookmug.

Jesus

Jesus is a god name. Although a lot of people have this name it is very unique. Jesus is a very trustworthy person you can trust him on anything and he knows he can trust you. Jesus well treat you right if you treat him right. He is powerful in many certain ways. Jesus can be there whenever you want he is a nice person,and he can protect you.he is a special person. He can be a little bit dorky but just to make you Lough.
Jesus helped me last night

Me and jesus had fun
by Jiisuspo July 17, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

The thing that suffers and dies arbitrarily at the hands of the Schizophrenic horde. You should be this (so I don't have to... I'd rather be a part of the horde. Or the guy that tells them to do it to you)
Hym "What the fuck? No. Jesus Christ! How about instead of trying to imitate everything you see (like the stupid filth monkeys that you are) you just acknowledge that it was not a good thing to do to a guy and don't do that? But hey, don't listen to me. I'm not a doctor."
by Hym Iam July 23, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus with a shotgun

Person 1: hey it's Jesus with a shotgun
by Doomslayer is Doomslayer February 21, 2023
mugGet the Jesus with a shotgunmug.

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