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Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024
mugGet the Mach Jesusmug.

jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.
We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.
by Iureport March 27, 2024
mugGet the jetway jesusmug.

Jesus

Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.

I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).

I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.

I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.
"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend

"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ
by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 24, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus christ

a person who never existed, probably made up for fame.
That guy said he owns urban dictionary!

I bet 5 bucks he’s a Jesus Christ.
by THARSHEBLOES March 12, 2025
mugGet the Jesus christmug.

jesus

the definition of perfection a handsome boy he has beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile everything about him is sweet and kind he’s an extraordinary guy and he’s the person i’m gonna marry one day because he’s my other half
jesus is the love of my life and will continue to be forever
by hehehsjisus April 26, 2022
mugGet the jesusmug.
Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
mugGet the The Ole Reverse Jesus Techniquemug.

Jesus

The One True God and The Son Of God (he is god incarnated in human form so he is god but at the same time the way he was born was by god impregnating mary so he is also the son). He is real, He loves you, He cares about you, He sacraficed himself on the cross for you. All you need to do is believe in him and his sacrafice. I pray you will find your way through christ and know the truth!
"I love Jesus"
"Me too"
"Thank you Jesus for what you did for us!"
"Amen"
by rayfire1234 May 17, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

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