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Jesus

Why?
Why?
Hey Daddy I smack these hoes
I stuck my pee-pee in some Cherrios
I got a pencil in my nose
And I beat my dipar everywhere I go

Like to hop hop like a bunny
Pooped my pants now its runny
I go Ungnt-Ungnt, think thats funny?
I stuff my dipar with all my money
by Finnisflawed April 6, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Christmug.

Jesus Stepper

Father Maurice from Sister Act was the OG Jesus Stepper
by 313.Lynn January 28, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Steppermug.

Jesus Fresus

John 8:32 - And you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free.

Jesus died on the cross to set us all free from sin.
Jack: It's been a long night. I guess I better get going.

Jill: Ok... Jesus Fresus

Jack: Jesus Fresus
by metalforJesus February 25, 2010
mugGet the Jesus Fresusmug.

jesus

That one guy that doesn't exist lol
religious guy; Hey be respectful, Jesus exist
Atheist; sure, so Santa exists too haha
Religious guy again: you're going to die because God exist, and you'll regret of saying this, you're going to hell.

Atheist: uh-

Religious guy: Anyways remember that God loves everyone, send you blesses 😍🤗✝️
by whoisalex? November 6, 2021
mugGet the jesusmug.

Jesus's spizzim

When you jizz with no control, even though she said she’s not on birth control.
Yo dude, I just Jesus's spizzim , she did tell me she’s not on birth control; I just couldn’t help it.
by Kachowism August 10, 2024
mugGet the Jesus's spizzimmug.

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