The Jesus

What to say when you find anything vaguely cross-shaped absolutely anywhere, for any reason, and in any situation.
Yo bro! I just found The Jesus on this tree!
by KingFisherOE April 16, 2023
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This is one of the stupidest songs I’ve ever heard in my life. Like seriously who. the fuck cares. 1991 sucked ass. The 90s were really degrading. Apart from some of the music but it was a pretty horrible decade.
Whoever wrote “Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now” should be shot
by WorseThanHitler November 18, 2020
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Jesus Bomb

A Bomb the Lord would Love ... Redbull and Red Wine of your choice 🍷🙏 Get your wings and get right with Christ... Cheers
Mike you want a cherrybomb?! Nah bro lets do a Jesus Bomb !!
by B k i z z l e January 15, 2022
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Jesus Bomb

Dropping a Eucharist into wine and downing the whole thing.
Jesus died so that we could take Jesus bombs.
by Pizza_king_jc July 31, 2021
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Kung Fu Jesus

Kung Fu Jesus- Christmas from someone that doesn't celebrate. Modern form of xmas which was used by Jewish people that would not verbally proclaim Jesus as the Christ.
Happy Kung Fu Jesus to all my Christian friends.
by MillionDollarLester December 25, 2018
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Mexican Jesus

A hot mexican guy with long hair who moast likely gets called that by his close friends (his real name is probably david or antonio)
Friend: Hello Mexican Jesus

David: rly lol
by mr.miguel dannyboy March 03, 2022
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Jesus [Yeshua]

Letter from Pilate to Tiberius Caesar

A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.

See Washing Library

Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
Jesus Yeshua was seated at the right hand of GOD his Father in the begining! As was The Holy Spirit and Wisdom. The FEAR of GOD is the first sign of Wisdom!
by THE-INTELLECTUAL July 14, 2024
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