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jesus montano

a handsome man, that pulls many girls. he's very popular, and many people enjoy his company. he also tends to have a short temper but long penis.
That guy must be a Jesus Montano *heart eyes*
by GVibez November 17, 2016
mugGet the jesus montanomug.

I will send you to jesus

A sentence meaning that one is going to end someone's life.
Person 1: You are a noob.
Person 2: I will send you to jesus.
by elaboratescanner04 October 8, 2023
mugGet the I will send you to jesusmug.

Jesus

Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"

Harod "What!?"

Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."

Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*

Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."

Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨

Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"

Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"

Guard "Yeah........"

Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"

Guard "Yeah..."

Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

Guard "I donno man..."

Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"

Guard "Damn..."

Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"

Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."

Harod 😨

Guard "Yahp..."

Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."

Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."

Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."

Guard *sigh*

Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."

Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

A name of a very cute guy
Omg did you see Jesus he is so cute.
by Chulito November 22, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

A pick me boy who likes to follow around girls most commonly known for “playing for the wrong team” likes to be respectful upfront but a whore in person.
Jesus: hey guys
Girls: Help help leave me alone!
by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Meat Jesus

He is the one true God. He is Ron fucking Swanson.
Meat Jesus is better than RJ the Hedge God.
by Ron Swanson is Meat Jesus September 24, 2017
mugGet the Meat Jesusmug.

Slim Jesus in a cut

A fat cocked white skinned individual that likes to exhibit foul language in this songs. He particuraly likes to use a 40mm hand gun he threatens to use uppon you. Imagine that peanut headed faggot in a small cut. That's what this means
by FhackSerbia April 18, 2018
mugGet the Slim Jesus in a cutmug.

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