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you wanker

Wanker, an insult reserved for one who is rude, lazy and/or an all around bastard. Calling someone a wanker is akin to calling them a tool or a jerk. Originating in the UK.
You've been ducking me over 20$ for 6 months, you wanker.
by WankTarz May 11, 2016
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Wanker's Dozen

Used to describe the phenomenon of achieving 13 wanks in a day.

Common with self-employed geeks and students.

Comparible to the finite number of times you can fold a piece of paper, the wanker's dozen is rarely beaten.

Derived from bakers dozen, except the bread rolls are spooge-filled tissues
Typical conversation:

M: "My bell end is red-raw."

J: "Why's that?"

M: "Wanker's Dozen"

J: "I am Not suprised"
by Lamb McDan May 11, 2009
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Chinese Wanker

1. A wanker of the Chinese variety. Usually attributed to those people who take advantage of others friendship while regularly doing and saying stupid things. Can be used as a derogatory insult even if there is seemingly no chinese connection, in fact this is most often the case.

2. A fun thing to say at random times for little or no reason in order to invoke others into repeating the term.
1. Hakeem : Let's go to the shops today boys
Sam : Yeah ok
Jim : Sure thing
At the shops - Hakeem : I forgot my money, could you buy me some sweets? And a drink? And some donuts?
Jim : For fucks sake hakeem
Sam : You're such a Chinese wanker

2. Sam : Aha what a wanker
Jim : Seems a little Chinese too
Liam : A chinese wanker for sure
Sam : True Chinese wanker
Jim : Chi Chi Chi Chinese wanker!!!
All : Chinese Wanker!!!
by SirSammyG July 12, 2016
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Wankers Cramp

The most deadly of all british diseases.
Person 1 : "somebody call an ambulance this limey needs urgent medical assistance apparently he has wankers cramp"
by copy_zero August 6, 2011
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pretentious wanker

Someone whose personal self esteem is so low they need to:

a) amplify their importance (or lack thereof) by quoting their education after their names when demanding things they deem to be their right.

b) surround themselves with other persons of like ilk (other pretentious wankers) such as members of the insular academia class (see also just-another wanker)

c) confirm what a cunt they are
Letter received by court clerk regarding mediation:

"I was so insulted by the Mediator when she actually confirmed my ex husbands position and stated he had rights, in contradiction to my own confirmed opinion. (signed) E. ByGoomb Bsc Msc VD(with bar)"

Clerk of the court "Bloody hell. Another letter from the pretentious wanker, E. ByGoomb".
by Chaucer_had_it_coming February 1, 2010
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southern wanker

An opinionated gobshite who posts various derogatory definitions of people from the North of England on the Urban Dictionary website.
"That Paolo Beardini is probably just another southern wanker with a chip on his shoulder"
by Wyrm July 30, 2007
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Willy Wanker

That 1 kid ur friends with who wanks all the time. for some fucking reason!
HAYYYYY look its willy wanker boi.
by booblover69420 December 2, 2019
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