Boss: Why were you an hour and a half late for work???
Anon: Sorry, my time blindness makes me forget I have things to do in an timely fashion. Sorry!
Boss: Sorry! You're fired. Do better in future jobs please.
Anon: Sorry, my time blindness makes me forget I have things to do in an timely fashion. Sorry!
Boss: Sorry! You're fired. Do better in future jobs please.
by LimeSenpai October 14, 2023
Get the Time Blindness mug.A rare phenomenon wherein the affected person can not find the item they are looking for in the refrigerator, despite looking directly at it several times. Affects more than one in seven married men.
Husband: Why are we always out of ketchup?
Wife: What are you talking about it's literally right in front of your face!
Husband: Oh, no... I have ketchup blindness.
Wife: Noooooooo!
Wife: What are you talking about it's literally right in front of your face!
Husband: Oh, no... I have ketchup blindness.
Wife: Noooooooo!
by jeorb87 December 10, 2020
Get the Ketchup Blindness mug.When you aren’t aware that you have typed a phrase out incorrectly because you assumed that you typed out the same phrase as the one in your head. So now you are blind blown because you are unable to recognize your spelling error
Carla: “This boy has my blind blown”
Lee: “blind blown” ??
Carla: “Omw, in my mind I was still reading it as ‘mind blown’ ”
Lee: “ Oooh it looks like we’ve just coined a new term”
Lee: “blind blown” ??
Carla: “Omw, in my mind I was still reading it as ‘mind blown’ ”
Lee: “ Oooh it looks like we’ve just coined a new term”
by Eddy Boi November 8, 2022
Get the blind blown mug.The act of cheating on you significant other with a person who gives you anal sex and you become so blind that you quit your job, leave your wife, move in with your mom, and lose everything in a divorce.
Holy shit Mark is so anal blind, every tattoo he got looks like a retarded kid’s artwork.
Mark is so anal blind he thought his soon to be ex-wife was just going to take his offer for a divorce settlement.
Mark is so anal blind he thought his soon to be ex-wife was just going to take his offer for a divorce settlement.
by DirtyMike1972 March 3, 2022
Get the Anal Blind mug.Arthur Blinds are often found floating on rafts in the middle of the ocean. They have room temperature IQ, and have strange hallucinations, where they often believe that their last name is spelled differently than it really is. Common myths about the Arthur Blind is that it loves to eat chicken drummies, however, its favorite food is pizza. I truly hope you never stumble across this hard stuck bronze creature, as you may never mentally recover. (However physically you will be fine since the Arthur Blind is blind and cannot see you, therefore hurt you.)
by arthurblind May 22, 2023
Get the Arthur Blind mug.A rare condition that your partner expects you to have. When you become married/in a serious relationship, they expect you to become blind toward everyone but them. In other words, they would rather your eyes linger on no one else's boobs but theirs.
Tom: Whoa! Look at her! I would tear that ass UP!
Sally: Tom! You're supposed to have matrimonial blindness!
Sally: Tom! You're supposed to have matrimonial blindness!
by Ana Kruua June 11, 2008
Get the matrimonial blindness mug.Dang.... i was as blind as a bat today
Devin, why are you as blind as a bat and cant see that no one likes you
Babyface is as blind as a bat
Devin, why are you as blind as a bat and cant see that no one likes you
Babyface is as blind as a bat
by Mr. Cluckerz November 17, 2016
Get the Blind as a bat mug.