alternative mounds of joy

Refers to any of a girl's "sumptuous 'n' squeezable" bulges of pliable muscle-tissue other than her boobs or butt --- specifically, her shoulders, bicepses, and calves. The theory is that even if a soft-flesh-craving dude cannot acceptably access any "T&A" on his present female companion --- either because she prefers a more platonic relationship or they're presently in too public a setting for him to be able to touch her intimately --- he can still at least partially alleviate his raging "kneadable protoplasm" desires by filling his thirsting hands with these other "delicacies" instead.
Horny stud: Tiffany and I haven't talked about "taking it to the next level" yet, but I get the feeling that she would prefer to remain just at "second base" for the time being, so I think I'll just stick to massaging and caressing her alternative mounds of joy for now... hey, she's totally got delightfully warm and doeskin-soft flesh all over, so I feel satisfied and honored just being allowed access to even that much.
by QuacksO February 01, 2017
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Alternative Relationship

Any relationship between individuals that does not conform to traditional hetero normal social standards of a monogamous marriage between a man and a woman. Alternative Relationships include but are not limited to people in same-sex marriages, the polyamorous, swingers, a-sexual partnerships, well as relationships based on power exchange, fetishes, or historic relationship archetypes such as 1950s Households.
Doug's parents were shocked when they learned that he was bisexual and polyamorous. Doug explained that there were many types of Alternative Relationship types today besides traditional marriage.
by Zev- August 03, 2022
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"alternatives"-ad fury

The near-maniacal rage you feel when an online vendor/advertiser off-handedly remarks that a desired product/content is no longer offered/available, and then adds insult to injury by cheerfully cajoling, "But no worries --- check out some of our other awesome products/services, like these!", causing you to just wanna smash yer fist right through the screen in resentful frustration, since whatever "substitute" profferings they are showing you have virtually no resemblance whatever to what you were looking for and would certainly not be anywhere near as satisfying; it's almost like they're presuming to imply that THEY know more about what YOU want than YOU do YOURSELF!
Counsellor, sympathetically consoling a late-teens client who is practically climbing the walls in tearful frustration from having been cheekily offered "Super Mario" by an online-gaming website when he'd wanted to play a round of "Spy Hunter Classic" after a long day at high school, just as he'd been doing every evening for the past two years: Ah-haa --- sounds to me like a classic case of "alternatives"-ad fury --- I so totally "get ya", Young Man, and I don't blame ya one bit for feeling this way... a lot of companies sure don't consider what their customers truly want whenever they"update" their offerings, do they? Reminds me of a couple of local radio stations back when I was around your age --- all of a sudden they stopped playing their traditional soothing '60's 'n' '70's easy-listening music in favor of pop-bop and country-crap --- a LOT of adult-listeners were REALLY bummed out about that! Why, I myself STILL sorely miss that wonderful music almost thirty years later!
by QuacksO July 13, 2018
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Herbal Alternatives

A high grade Herbal Incense company that started in Cadillac,MI by Mad Scientist, the Lab Rat,C-Bone, B.C., and M.H. they produce products such as T, Darkness, and Herbal Alternatives presents: TEA.
guy1: Do you know where i can get some Darkness?
guy2: yeah Herbal Alternatives on Fb Has some.
guy1: but arent they only in one area?
guy:nope they run from Michigan to Mississippi
by saa_annu May 18, 2011
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A center for educating middle grades (6 - 8) students in Virginia who have had difficulty succeeding in a traditional school. Smaller classes, more tolerant teachers, social skills instruction, and an alternative method of working with kids are all parts of the alternative program.

The goal of the school is to re-teach the students and help them learn to participate in the more-structured atmosphere of a traditional school. Helping them learn to become active participants in their own education is a primary goal. Reducing the frequency of unacceptable behaviors is another goal.
New Dominion Alternative Center is a mini-school that provides alternative education.
by News crew November 27, 2009
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Alternate

Some black hole colored man that is 10'4 and likes to do ASMR is your ear.
We need to stay inside to not alert the Alternates.
by MaybeAnonymous May 06, 2022
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alterNating cAps

At The Time AlTeRnAtInG CaPs Popped Up.

J Worked On B l o c k.

WRITE.

Find By Eye The Bottom-_Letter Letters_.

wrIte.

Change Latin -I- To wrJte.
Have You Detected The Whole-Train.

Jt was blOck.

Not.

Just AlTeRnAtInG CaPs.
by deEr. April 17, 2020
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