Refers to a "just as bad or worse" substitution-product/activity employed to supposedly "fill the void" created by a discontinued unhealthy habit --- the idea here is that while the milk itself may indeed be low-fat, the added calorie-rich and sugary-sweet chocolate has far more fattening ingredients than just the cream in full-fat milk could possibly have contained, and so the person will likely gain even more weight than ever.
Three classic --- and very tragic --- examples of a "chocolate-milk alternative" would be a substance-abuse recovery-program's giving a dry-drunk lots of high-sugar foods in place of alcohol, someone's switching to compulsive shopping in place of gambling, or a person's becoming harshly-snappy and irritably-demanding after giving up cigarettes.
by QuacksO November 5, 2018
Get the chocolate-milk alternative mug.The near-maniacal rage you feel when an online vendor/advertiser off-handedly remarks that a desired product/content is no longer offered/available, and then adds insult to injury by cheerfully cajoling, "But no worries --- check out some of our other awesome products/services, like these!", causing you to just wanna smash yer fist right through the screen in resentful frustration, since whatever "substitute" profferings they are showing you have virtually no resemblance whatever to what you were looking for and would certainly not be anywhere near as satisfying; it's almost like they're presuming to imply that THEY know more about what YOU want than YOU do YOURSELF!
Counsellor, sympathetically consoling a late-teens client who is practically climbing the walls in tearful frustration from having been cheekily offered "Super Mario" by an online-gaming website when he'd wanted to play a round of "Spy Hunter Classic" after a long day at high school, just as he'd been doing every evening for the past two years: Ah-haa --- sounds to me like a classic case of "alternatives"-ad fury --- I so totally "get ya", Young Man, and I don't blame ya one bit for feeling this way... a lot of companies sure don't consider what their customers truly want whenever they"update" their offerings, do they? Reminds me of a couple of local radio stations back when I was around your age --- all of a sudden they stopped playing their traditional soothing '60's 'n' '70's easy-listening music in favor of pop-bop and country-crap --- a LOT of adult-listeners were REALLY bummed out about that! Why, I myself STILL sorely miss that wonderful music almost thirty years later!
by QuacksO July 13, 2018
Get the "alternatives"-ad fury mug.by ToriAmostknown October 31, 2023
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Stuff that is not medicine, and has no medicinal properties, but conspiracy theorists and other dumbasses insist is the REAL medicine, because the entire healthcare field is a sham, or something, and the knowledge of people from 500-1000 years ago when they didn't even have toilets is superior to modern science.
Don't listen to those Big Pharma quacks telling you to get radiation treatment for your cancer, here, drink this soup of tree bark and lemongrass, it's alternative medicine.
by q359 July 25, 2023
Get the alternative medicine mug.A term that REALLY just fucking means lies, but thanks to postmodernism, we're not allowed to call them that anymore, because everyone's viewpoint is equally valid, there is no such thing as a false narrative, and everyone is entitled to their own personal reality.
You say the sun is made of hydrogen and helium, I say it's made of whale farts and silly string! Those are my alternative facts! Nobody is right or wrong, there is no such thing as objectivity, we have to respect everyone's viewpoint!
by q359 July 25, 2023
Get the alternative facts mug.We provided alternative encouragement to help Joe's productivity. "Stop being such a pussy and get back to work."
by sm@$h September 11, 2023
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