marijuana jesus

marijuana jesus is a person who smokes the holy plant cannabis, walks on water, and is made up.

marijuana jesus: that was some nice bud judas
judas: im gonna go betray you and smoke all your weed

by marijuana jesus December 9, 2016

Jesus

Why?
Why?
Hey Daddy I smack these hoes
I stuck my pee-pee in some Cherrios
I got a pencil in my nose
And I beat my dipar everywhere I go

Like to hop hop like a bunny
Pooped my pants now its runny
I go Ungnt-Ungnt, think thats funny?
I stuff my dipar with all my money

Hey daddy jesus your a sausage!! ugh ugh

by Finnisflawed April 6, 2022

Jesus Christ

A mild swear word to describe the body parts this is a religious swear word and was a big thing back I'm the day don't it in a religious hall especially in a church

Jesus Christ

by Hiyalolasr January 23, 2025

Jesus loves you

Manipulation. A simple way to push your religion on people who don’t give a flying fuck about your book club.

*someone chilling and being themselves (typically people who are lgbtq)*
“Jesus loves you”

by Awe.skeetskeeg February 11, 2024

Jedi Jesus

Jedi Jesus

Jedi Jesus

by Nigga1233333333333 June 10, 2018

Jesus Card

When someone justifies their frowned-upon, or even illegal, actions by comparing themself to Jesus disobeying the Roman Empire by spread his beliefs. The general idea is that if Jesus was doing the right thing by broke the law in order to spread the word of god, then it is already for them to break the law in order to <insert action here>.

"Sure, its illegal, but did that stop Jesus when the Romans said his mission was illegal???"
*off to the side*
"Holy shit, he pulled the fuckin' Jesus Card!!"

by Xavien35449510 February 2, 2024

Jesus

A guy who will act like they love you but break your heart.

"Jesus cheated on me again*

by mayay February 4, 2024