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Bleeding Statesman

Origin: First officially documented in the year of our Lord 2024 by Mike K. of Redondo Beach — a man whose voice was smooth as silk and whose spiritual awakening is constantly being tested by schmo's playing with their phones in meetings, and weak coffee. Blessings be unto him.

An evolved species of AA old-timer who walks the fine line between enlightenment and homicide. The Bleeding Statesman is a spiritual hybrid — part Elder Statesman, part Bleeding Deacon — combining hard-won wisdom with low-key exasperation and an intolerance for bullshit.

With decades of sobriety under their belt, they’ve seen it all — the steps, the slogans, the cycles — and still manage to show up (mostly on time). They carry a sharp spiritual toolkit and just enough restraint to stay out of jail. Think Zen master, but with mild caffeine withdrawal and unresolved group conscience trauma.

They don’t judge — they perform character assessments.
They meditate — on que with "I cant believe this b*tch is sharing this again"
They’re spiritually grounded — but always five seconds away from leaving.
“I watched Mike meditate for like 40 minutes before the meeting… but then he snapped and told the newcomer to stop reading the promises like it was a TED Talk. That man’s a textbook Bleeding Statesman.”

“The dude’s got 30 years, quotes the Big Book and Marcus Aurelius, and still glares when someone’s late. Total Bleeding Statesman.”

“He sat through 10 minutes of announcements grumbling… then muttered, ‘This isn’t a PTA meeting,’ and walked out. Bleeding Statesman energy all day.”

“She shared for 25 minutes about her cat, and he just sat there blinking. Then he whispered, ‘Tradition Five, not storytime,’ and stared into the void. Certified Bleeding Statesman.”
by Sponsorus Maximus April 6, 2025
mugGet the Bleeding Statesmanmug.

Static Ear Bleed

A song that sounds really bad and staticky because of the sound card on the computer or the recording device thus making your ears bleed.
Bill: Hey did you hear John's new song?

Damon: Yeah, but I got a static ear bleed because of all the static, he really needs to get a new computer.
by hewhosubmitsdefinitions July 20, 2009
mugGet the Static Ear Bleedmug.

AnUs BlEeD

A steady stream of blood that pools in your anus until it eventually gets too large for your anal cavity to hold and it explodes causing the blood that was in your anus to go all over the place.
I lOvE tO dRiNk ThE bLoOd FrOm My AnUs BlEeD!
by TEES DADDY! January 5, 2018
mugGet the AnUs BlEeDmug.

Bleed Golden

An expression that means you’re from the Golden Isles, Georgia. Usually as a way of saying you’re proud of that.
Do I eat at Twin Peaks Barbecue? Of course, I Bleed Golden.
by Weenieswilliewagon May 24, 2023
mugGet the Bleed Goldenmug.

bleeding bloody

Not reference to a horse that kicks an English gentleman
the english gentleman doesnt get bleeding bloody when he gets kicked
by Noob Sack 420 September 18, 2013
mugGet the bleeding bloodymug.

Bleeding

Peelagwerh: 'Yo chale this whole week, the bleeding be more.' Ponakus: 'Make u no worry, Friday Oswald go drop killer odds.'
by RagingKenpachi December 18, 2019
mugGet the Bleedingmug.

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