Surprise? Jesus!

Waking up to active morning sex to find someone you would not have chosen to have sex with had you been sober.

After a long night at the club, I woke to morning sex, saw them and said “Surprise? Jesus!”

by Deckard253x May 20, 2020

Flag

Polish Jesus

Very cool kid known as "chill guy" or "depression god"
Long-hair guy, no-smoke and Shephard lover and not sure about that
Loves life and no smoke for sureee
When they ask me: "Watchuuu doinggg?" I answer: " VINTAGE and I'm good"

Girl 1: Have you seen the new student Polish Jesus, he looks quite focus on studies and minimalistic
Girl 2: Are you sureeeee&watchuu doinggg???
Girl 3: Shephard likes this Polish Jesus for sureeee.

by Lil Khan December 11, 2019

Flag

Get the Polish Jesus mug.

Mother of Jesus Christ

Something you yell out when your team is losing or you have to pay a expensive bill.

John- Mother of Jesus Christ i can't believe the Patriots are losing to the Raiders

Me- I guess the patriots just suck

by Crzyfkr October 08, 2010

Flag

Get the Mother of Jesus Christ mug.

Tulum Jesus

Currently in Tulum. Dressed in robes, preaching peace with mystical medallions strung around, wears huaraches and wears a mystical hat of wizardry. Fine maidens are drawn, riding a chariot scooter of high value. His presence is sufficient, the few words spoken are of great value. Many skins are worn to effectively converse with the people.

“Behold brethren! Tulum Jesus is among us! We must draw near to hear interesting stories from all the lands!”

by ServantA August 20, 2021

Flag

Get the Tulum Jesus mug.

Jesus Handshake

A Jesus handshake is when someone spits on a cock then sucks it passionately while jacking it off and rubbing the balls. Once the man cums, they smear the cum all over the hands and rub it in their face then rub the cock on their eyes.

Person 1: Yo this person maya is a hot chick
Person 2: Yeah she gave me a good ol’ Jesus handshake!

by Cosmiccun7 December 13, 2022

Flag

Get the Jesus Handshake mug.