masturbation

the act of pleasing thy self with sexual alone time by forcing massive ejaculation.

Mike performed masturbation on his bed conforter & it left a stain(the stain is still there,true story.)

by Mike_Coolman104 June 19, 2009

Masturbation

The act of self stimulation by stroking, rubbing, or pulling your genitals. Men usually rub, sometimes women will buy dildos or finger themselves. Masturbation can result in ejaculation if the person is stimulated enough. Men/women usually perform this act when intercourse is not an option.
For people with small brains:Masturbation is touching your penis to make it feel good, or for women sticking their fingers in their vaginas.

Guy 1:Sheila is too tired to have sex, and I'm bored.
Guy 2:Why don't you try masturbation?
Guy 1:Isn't that for complete losers?
Guy 2:No dude, it's completely normal and healthy.
Guy 1:I might try it, then.

by Maximizer August 5, 2012

Mathturbation

The math you do as a republican to make yourself feel better.

Mathturbation: What Megyn Kelly told Karl Rove when Fox News Called the race for Obama. (see youtube video "Math you do as a republican")

"Dude, did you see Karl Rove last night totally Mathturbate himself last night with his white board right before President Obama was re-elected."

"Yeah, He was really going at it with his magical white board"

by FactsMatter(except FAUX NEWS) November 15, 2012

masturbation fiend

An addict who is addicted to masturbation.

The chronic masturbation fiend masturbates to a photo of that handsome guy 3 times a day. The fiend uses lotion and other slippery substances to get off on his picture.

by FDA unapproved April 14, 2010

Vacuum Masturbation

When you use a vacuum's hose attachment to clean the body of the vacuum.

I had lots of fun sucking up the spider webs with Vacuum Masturbation

by E.N. Smith October 1, 2008

mathturbation

What pseudoscientists, cranks and charlatans use to "prove" their self-indulgent theories.

The nutjob used mathturbation to show that the Bible contains an encrypted message warning of the September 11th attacks.

by AbnormalBoy December 2, 2004

Twilight Masturbation

When a girl or woman proceedes to masturbate and sexualally reach an all time high (moan), due to the appearance and/or voice of Edward Cullen and Jacob Black.

When I was in the movie for New Moon, all I heard was Twilight Masturbation.

by Ûñkñøwîñg December 7, 2009