The name of the toughest
guy in Hollywood. Many references to
Chuck Norris's toughness have been made. Some examples follow.
1) If you rearrange the letters in
Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.
2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
3) Chuck Norris doesn't bathe...
Water asks permission to make contact with Chuck Norris's skin.
4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.
5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the
Earth.
6) What's black and white and
red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.
7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.
8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.
9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit
10) Chuck Norris was slated to
star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.
11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.
12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something;
time slows itself down.
13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the
rain. This region of
Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.
14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest
human ever buried.
15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak
bear. The
bear played dead.
