Cooperative Baptist Fellowship

An offshoot of the Southern Baptist Convention that is not as committed to defending the doctrine of the inerrancy of the Bible as the SBC since Evangelicals recaptured the denomination from liberals and moderates. CBF also presents a more egalitarian set of policies on social and political issues along with presenting a hazy view of theology. While most CBF members are not as far to the left as clearly apostate denominational elites such as found in the United Methodist Church, the CBF would be more accurately characterized as part of the mushy middle or moderates.

CBF does not explicitly deny the truth of the Bible, but they emphasize that individual believers can interpret the Bible any way that they choose. This tack on interpreting the Bible can easily provide a liberal Christian with the license to make the Bible into a wax-nose so that one can twist the Bible to justify whatever one wants to read into the text. This loose approach to reading and being instructed in the Bible comes from CBF's so-called "Four Freedoms": (1)Soul Freedom-a direct relationship with God without intermediaries (2)Bible Freedom-each person can interpret the Bible for himself without direction from anyone but God (or who one can easily deceive oneself into believing is God, viz. oneself who wants what he wants and wants it now) (3)Church Freedom-local church autonomy (4)Religious Freedom-as defined by egalitarian leftists at the ACLU. The CBF is affiliated with the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty, which opposes such benign policies as allowing for Ten Commandment displays.

Cooperative Baptist Fellowship member reflecting on Deuteronomy 24 after his wife has burnt the toast: "I see here right in the Bible that I can divorce my wife if she displeases me. So, I shall divorce her and marry my sexier secretary. After she gets some mileage on her, I shall trade her in, too. I am so glad that I read the Bible and follow God's Word."

by Tex in Tex October 4, 2008

John The Baptist

A man who tricks children into getting into his church so he can molest them in the name of Christ.

"On your way to the park, look out for John The Baptist's."

by Aenima May 13, 2005

Baptism

The act in which the ballbag is attacked by the swift back hand of some young punk.

Mark stold my cigarette so I gave him a high defenition baptism.

by Its lee dood September 4, 2006

river oaks baptist boys

Nerdy, short, mean, average looking bullies who annoyingly obsess over girls from other schools, especially Kinkaid. They have bad BS and no game. They're bad at sports too.

Robs Girl 1: It’s so annoying how the river oaks baptist boys ignore us.
Robs girl 2: Ik!!! All they do is hook up with Ava, Anna Cate, Brisa.

by Jddjck ofi December 22, 2019

Baptism Fart

The first fart one excretes after a shower, dirtying the anus once again. Usually happens within five minutes of exit from shower.

Ed and John were standing in the room when I came back from the shower and farted. "Oh man there was the baptism fart."

by DATGAS January 29, 2012

John the Baptist Cockfish

A man who thinks he is a baptist is is really a man who worships the cocks of fish. One who is still in the closet and wishes he is a man. A man who has a vagina and no spine

"It is time to leave.", says the bar tender.
"Hold on John the Baptist Cockfish, I have not finished my drink."

by Hybrid Soul Taker December 16, 2010

Baptism by Semen

Basically having intercourse in a swimming pool and leaving an aftertaste of semen for the next person that swims.

Baptism by Semen is FRICKING reviving bruh.

by Oknothanks April 25, 2015