Griddy Merchant

Someone who plays the fifa video game nearly every day and uses the Griddy emote after every goal scored. They do this so that the opponent rage quits or breaks a controller.

Man these fucking Griddy merchants! They must get zero pussy. I can just smell the stench through the mic.

by Dj Ivis Lover June 16, 2023

if-else merchant

A joking or mildly insulting way to describe a programmer who relies heavily on long chains of if / else statements instead of using better programming structures.

This codebase was clearly written by an if-else merchant — it’s just nested conditionals all the way down.

by ŠibucaNiggi November 5, 2025

Power mad misery merchant

Someone who's happy when you're miserable and who survives by peddling you news or junk that makes you even more miserable and depressed

look no further that a predatory capitalist to be a power mad misery merchant

by Sexydimma October 4, 2024

Spaghetti merchant

jorginho and donnarumma

jorginho is a spaghetti merchant

by jorginho despiser August 12, 2023

Golf Merchant

Someone who plays Golf and hits the range repeatedly because they recently have become obsessed with Golf and all they can think about is Golf.

Friend 1: I just got us a tee time for tomorrow, we are going to hit the range the next day, and then try to play another round on Sunday. You in?
Friend 2: Golf Merchant... but yes I'm in.

by Golf Merchant July 14, 2024

wax merchant

Somebody who waxes (mastubates) alot and other people for a price.

michael is such a wax merchant, and he only charges 19.95

by GM September 10, 2003

Merchant One

A company that takes care of processing payments and making a transaction.

I used merchant one the other day to buy a Gi-normous burrito.

by Stacy1221 May 17, 2019