statement cookie

a fortune cookie that doesn't actually have a fortune in it, instead they package it with a lame statement like; Versatility is one of your greatest features.

Guy 1: Heh, what does you fortune cookie say?
Guy 2: Its not a fortune cookie its a goddamn statement cookie, it reads, " To understand a man, you must listen to his words."
Guy 1: Duh that's not only a statement, but its fucking obvious, more like a douche cookie.

by Crunchyness October 2, 2007

masturbation station

a location or area in the home where someone most frequently masturbates. This is usually a chair in front of a home computer where internet porn can be accessed.

im feeling a little stressed.. i think i need 7 or 8 minutes alone at the masturbation station.

by veh-jay-jay January 18, 2009

Jake from State Farm

what you call a friend when your wife/girlfriend gets jealous and wonders who you have been hanging out with until 3 in the morning.

Who were you with all night? Jake from State Farm

by Cadet 7755 September 2, 2014

Jewnited States of America

The paradisal, prelapsarian Eden that the United States is morphing into under the stewardship of Jewish politicians and billionaire-funded NGOs where the few Caucasians who survived the purges of the 2020s will be sent to work underground in mines or consigned to museums for posterity to delight and inspire the imaginations of the hoards of immigrants who replaced them

The ADL and SPLC are drafting a new constitution for the Jewnited States of America in close consultation with rabbis and Talmudic scholars.

by Max Fillpot September 27, 2021

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!

You are about to get destroyed physically, mentally, and spiritaully. Generally if this phrase is bellowed out it means the bellower is about to engage in a mass slaughter with absolutly no care for their own safety. Expect no quarter given. Although a relitivly rare act, certain social pressures, neurological ihibitors, or defeat in a video game can cause this.

Vavey: Owned you again!

Dave: Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!

Vavey: ohhhh....crap

*Gore everywhere, house destroyed along with neighboring countries

by Vavey May 5, 2007

Status Aggressive Syndrome

A social condition describing a person's need to display their distaste or dislike for certain people, without naming any names, on their Twitter or Facebook status.

Often intended to elicit comments from supportive friends, and infuriate or annoy others.

Carl: "Why did Jen put 'is tired of playing games with all these children - you know who you are' on her status?!"

Bill: "Because man, she's got a fierce case of SAS (Status Aggressive Syndrome)"

by Stephen Abootman August 20, 2009

Shared Status

On Facebook, to re-post someone else's status as your own status. Similar to a retweet, but preceded by SS. Can be followed by the re-poster's own comment.

Official Form: SS @Original Poster: Original Poster's Status <<< Re-Poster's Comment (optional)

Larry's Status: I'm loving this new EA Game

Courtney's Status after seeing Larry's: SS @Larry: I'm loving this new EA Game

or

Courtney's Status after seeing Larry's: SS @Larry: I'm loving this new EA Game <<< I bought the Collector's Edition

Shared Status has just occurred

by CM Joker December 15, 2009